Hey guys, just thought I'd post something for a change. No real reviews are needed as this was just for a little fun. I hope you like it as much as I did writing it.
The Zoo, my School and their Similarities by Apple.
My school has been called many things by on going traffic when they have the misfortune to drive by its gates. Hell hole, crap’s creek, manipulative prison… Yes, Atherton High School has had its fair share of cuss names, though I feel that none of those sum up my school as properly as it should. Manipulative prison does border close on the mark though.
No, the word that describes my school is zoo. Yes, a zoo, with its rhinos and its tigers, and yadda, yadda. The teachers are the animal caretakers making sure nothing goes a muck (though they fail miserably), and the bullet proof rhinos are the football players who also get their fair share of hatred. With their rats tails swinging in the breeze, they say it is good fortune to cut one of these bits of hair off, although you have to be quick; they have heads and they’re not afraid to use them.
Then you have your egotistic birds that like to sing all day and sit in front of the music room making sure that Africa can hear every single octave, note and guitar strum they make. If you thought that was bad well then think again because then you have your snakes slinking around the back of school, smoking as much as they can and drinking last minute grog they forgot about two minutes ago. Snakes, everyone knows they have bad memories! You cannot blame them that they like the five leaved weed.
To finish off this wild zoo of ours you have everyone else in all different heights, colours, horn sizes and foot prints. This is usually where I am, you ever so sexy lioness! Alright maybe not a sexy lioness but a penguin that oddly enough likes to soak up the sun; but for the purpose of this piece, I’m your sexy lioness.
During mating season, which is all the time, the male folk of Atherton High school tend to wear their pants low and their caps backwards. Often they come in herds tracking down an unsuspecting female and pouncing when she’s alone and vulnerable. Most probably the female’s mate will be hanging jealously behind and will jump out at the whiff of competition. Bad move. They’re usually out numbered three to one. Where else but my school?
On some occasions you’ll have the girls tracking after their prey and they’re a lot more cunning. With their sharp tongues you’d think that they’d be the mother of all she-hags; well you’re right, they are. And where is your sexy lioness at this point in time? Stuffing her face and laughing at the silly things like she usually does. Yes, air headed but sexy!
Topping all this off you have younger, more naïve creatures of the school that like to drop the f-bomb after every second word.
“I &^@! have &^@! a &^@! jam &^@! sandwich &^@! for &^@! lunch &^@! today!”
Yes that is the dialect of our younger animals. Sometimes on rare occasions they’ll drop the bomb after the third word, though only the purest of heart hear this. Not to mention that to dominate as the strongest in the grade eight cohort, they’ll have a female mate standing by their sides though with a five metre radius between them. This not only shows that they have kahunas but that they like the female species…but of course, to touch that female is a crime though they still must have one to dominate!
Usually when tension is running high you’ll have the male species fighting to show that they’re the ‘master’ of this school. Most of the time they’ll start off as such:
“Your hair is gay!”
“What? Did you just say my hair that I spent three hours working on to look like someone’s dropped an egg over my head is bad? Come at me bro!”
“Alright but let’s do it in front of a teacher so they can stop it before anything serious happens. I can’t have my perfect nose being broken!”
“Okay then!”
Ooh, the taunts are brutal. And the fighting that soon follows – merciless. If you can call tearing off someone’s shirt merciless then sure, they’re inhumane. Yes, Atherton High School is a hell of all zoos with its funky hair styles and weird dress sense but as your sexy lioness it is my job as the only normal one to report this.
Until later, this is your host, Apple, signing out.
