Where am I? It is too dark here, am I in my bed, I lost sense of directions, where is the light button? And why it is that dark here and…and… what is this silence, am I in a hole or what. Ooh my God, let me see, here are some pillows, I am in a bed, yea in a bed, yea in a bed and…alone umm interesting.
It is strange that I don’t remember where I am sleeping or what I did before sleeping. I think Yeaaa I was speaking on phone, yes now I remember it was that call in which my boss told me that I have to replace him in a meeting and I told him that I was not prepared. He always put me in embarrassing situations, I really hate that.
No, no this call didn’t happened before I sleep, it can’t be, I already attended this meeting from more than a week now, it even went good.
This silence kills me, why I can’t hear anything and why it is that dark. Oh yeah, I remember now, I was with this nice girl who was explaining me the reasons why we can’t be together, she broke my heart, like my aunt breaks her ground of Poitou, Broyé du Poitou, by a punch in the center. I don’t understand what she means but she doesn’t want herself and me to walk the same path.
I talked to her several time after that, it’s hard for me to understand or let us say to accept. Ok now I realize that it had been four month now that I am trying to get over it, one thing is sure that it wasn’t before I sleep.
Why it is dark here, am I home or maybe I am at my grandma home, she likes to sleep in this complete darkness maybe she thought to holster death, but this darkness is different. Maybe I am in a plane and I covered my eyes to prevent light reaching my eyes. Yea I am in a plane, it explains why I have this feeling of disorientation, but it is too quite for a plane. Maybe I am still sleeping and I am just dreaming. I feel like being in a grave, what an idea, maybe I died, huh… what a strange idea but what if it is true. OMG I belong to another world now. I will not be able to see my friends and family again. I will not even have the chance to get over my love. This is not fair, there is a lot of stuff that I still want to do and places that I want to visit and girls that I want to love. I even wanted to be more spiritual and dedicate some time for my soul to get it purified. All of this is over and my soul left my body without even a proper goodbye.
And who am I now the soul or the body. I think the soul, so why I am not flying, why I am stuck to this mattress.
No no it can’t be, I am still alive, I am sure of that. I am able to move my arm, to feel my hand on my face, to hear my heart beating. Yea I didn’t notice before, my heart is beating, as it always did.
What is this, I am hearing a blackbird singing. Yea it is his lovely voice, it is the dawn of a new day, aurora. He is singing for the first beam of daylight. I just woke-up during dawn time in my bed in my room, it was only the darkness and calm of the dawn. These clear moments were the morning start to breath. It is a dawn for my soul. I am still enjoying the bless of being alive, I have time to play, love, work, realize my dreams, travel, talk to my friends, spend time with my family and pray God and thank him.
I AM ALIVE. I will not go to work today, I have a lot to enjoy J)) life is a bless, I am so happy. But first…I will sleep for two more hours, I just need that.
While sleeping I heard myself singing;
Blackbird singing in the dead of night,
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see all your life,
You were only waiting for this moment to be free,
Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly,
Into the light of the dark black night.
CHK
