Critiquing Woes

Well, I don't meant to be rude,
But I've not been reviewed.
I think it's rather unfair.

It's quite a cause to despair.
Please, at least drop a star.
It's a kindness like el mar.

I can end your woes right now! Yay reviews!

Anyway, I don't think this was super serious, but even so, it could be improved upon. Don't break the stanza between couplets. It's confusing (it took me a while to realize that despair was supposed to rhyme with unfair, not star) and odd-looking. Just keep this as one block of six lines.

Secondly...kindness like the ocean? If you're going to put foreign words in, please make sure they make sense. Unless el mar means something else in another language (it's ocean in Spanish).

Overall, I think you got your point across well, but the rhyming was forced. Keep writing!

I like it its very good.


Well, I don't meant to be rude,
But I've not been reviewed.
I think it's rather unfair.

It's quite a cause to despair.
Please, at least drop a star.
It's a kindness like el mar.


In this line I think you meant to say-Well, I don't mean to be rude,
I dont know If that's what you meant to right or not,
It might just be me but it would sound better like that

I'm unaware as to the meaning of 'el mar', but this was short, snappy, and quite funny. You brightened my day my friend, good job.

Sorry. El mar is Spanish for "the sea".

Thats awesome, even though its short its good. The shortest poem ever written was entitled "fleas" an it this was it: "Adam had 'em"
thats a nice short poem