Water Under The Bridge Chapter Nine: Lacey

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October, 1997
“Happy Birthday Anna Faith!” I plant a kiss in her baby fine hair, as she smears through the icing on her cupcakes. I quickly grab the candles, before she tries to eat them too.
“Mama?” Jake asks. “Can I have another cupcake?” He’s already on his toes, reaching for the tray. I can’t believe he can reach the counter; but then again, he will be five next month. Time has moved so fast. Will is in third grade!
Sometime later, as my husband Matt wipes the icing off of Anna’s face and I’m curled up in a chair, having the last cupcake before cleaning the pan, I have to pause and think of these past two years.
Chocolate crumbles in my mouth. The kids helped make these and it was fun. It doesn’t really matter that there are icing smears to kingdom come and the cake is a little dry. All of us made them together: even Anna helped.
Anna…Anna Faith. I close my eyes and tilt my head back. The day she was born has been stuck in my head all day, replaying like a movie. I can’t wait to tell her that story. If I can. No. My headvoice screams at me. Today is her birthday. We’re not going there.
But the truth is, I’m more than grateful for this birthday. I want her to see many, many more. At this rate, I’m not sure if she will.
It started with a cold, a stupid little cold. She was five months old and after a couple days of some extra TLC, she was fine. But then she got an ear infection, another cold, a random fever, a sinus infection. She was tired all the time, and started to get one infection after another. At ten months, she landed herself in the hospital for a week with pneumonia. Her first birthday was uneventful, but within a month, she was back in the hospital with another case of pneumonia.
She cannot walk. That is my biggest worry. She was okay until she started getting sick, crawling at seven months. Then she stood up late, just before her first birthday. She’s lost weight, she coughs all night, her fine-motor skills are crap, and she is twenty-four months old and she can’t walk. It’s heartbreaking to go to the park and see kids younger than her running laps, while all she can do it crawl and waddle and cruise. She does those like a pro, but still can’t walk. Test after test, her pediatrician can’t find a cause for such severe delays. Physical and occupational therapy twice a week are helping, but he doesn’t seem concerned about it. I am.
I’m broken from my thoughts with a light touch on my shoulder. Matt gives me a sad, empathetic smile and slides Anna into my lap. I run my hands through her silky hair. It’s so soft and brown; so perfect.
“You have such pretty hair, Anna Banana.” I tell her, taking her hands. Her rough grasp has developed a dangerous habit of reaching for my earrings.
“Mama.” She says, her dark blue eyes shining. “It my birday.”
“Yup that’s right.” I smile. “How old are you?”
“One, two.” She holds up two fingers. I know that’s about all she can do with her fingers, though. But I can’t be sad anymore…it’s impossible to be sad with a beautiful baby in your lap.
“How are you princess?”I poke her round tummy and she giggles. “Full of cupcakes?” I poke her again, feeling for cupcakes. She giggles again and I hug her tight. “Feels like you’re pretty full.”
“I blowed out my candles.” She reports.
“Two candles for my two year old.”
She giggles. I tickle her, because I want her to keep laughing. I want just that little giggle as she races around. But she stops to catch her breath, and starts to cough. Damn. No such luck yet.
Formerly EmilytheNovelist
REL stands for Rachel, Emily, Lauren, the initials of my triplet sisters and I
“I wish my stove came with a Save As button like Word has. That way I could experiment with my cooking and not fear ruining my dinner.
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EmilytheNovelist wrote:October, 1997
“Happy Birthday Anna Faith!” I plant a kiss in her baby fine hair, as she smears #FF0000 ">through the icing on her cupcakes. I quickly grab the candles, before she tries to eat them too.
“Mama?” Jake asks. “Can I have another cupcake?” He’s already on his toes, reaching for the tray. I can’t believe he can reach the counter; but then again, he will be five next month. Time has moved so fast. Will is in third grade!
Sometime later, as my husband Matt wipes the icing off of Anna’s face and I’m curled up in a chair, having the last cupcake before cleaning the pan, I have to pause and think of these past two years.
#FF0000 ">Chocolate crumbles in my mouth. The kids helped make these and it was fun. It doesn’t really matter that there are icing smears to kingdom come and the cake is a little dry because all of us made them together: even Anna helped.
Anna…Anna Faith. I close my eyes and tilt my head back. The day she was born has been stuck in my head all day, replaying like a movie. I can’t wait to tell her that story. If I can. No. My #FF0000 ">headvoice screams at me. Today is her birthday. We’re not going there.
But the truth is, I’m more than grateful for this birthday. I want her to see many, many more. At this rate, I’m not sure if she will.
It started with a cold, a stupid little cold. She was five months old and after a couple days of some #FF0000 ">extra TLC, she was fine. But then she got an ear infection, another cold, a random fever, a sinus infection. She was tired all the time, and started to get one infection after another. At ten months, she landed herself in the hospital for a week with pneumonia. Her first birthday was uneventful, but within a month, she was back in the hospital with another case of pneumonia.
She cannot walk. That is my biggest worry. She was okay until she started getting sick, crawling at seven months. Then she stood up late, just before her first birthday. She’s lost weight, she coughs all night, her fine-motor skills are crap, and she is twenty-four months old and she can’t walk. It’s heartbreaking to go to the park and see kids younger than her running laps, while all she can do it crawl and waddle and cruise. She does those like a pro, but still can’t walk. Test after test, her pediatrician can’t find a cause for such severe delays. Physical and occupational therapy twice a week are helping, but he doesn’t seem concerned about it. I am.
I’m broken from my thoughts with a light touch on my shoulder. Matt gives me a sad, empathetic smile and slides Anna into my lap. I run my hands through her silky hair. It’s so soft and brown; so perfect.
“You have such pretty hair, Anna Banana.” I tell her, taking her hands. Her rough grasp has developed a dangerous habit of reaching for my earrings.
“Mama.” She says, her dark blue eyes shining. “It my birday.”
“Yup that’s right.” I smile. “How old are you?”
“One, two.” She holds up two fingers. I know that’s about all she can do with her fingers, though. But I can’t be sad anymore…it’s impossible to be sad with a beautiful baby in your lap.
“How are you princess?”I poke her round tummy and she giggles. “Full of cupcakes?” I poke her again, feeling for cupcakes. She giggles again and I hug her tight. “Feels like you’re pretty full.”
“I blowed out my candles.” She reports.
“Two candles for my two year old.”
She giggles. I tickle her, because I want her to keep laughing. I want just that little giggle as she races around. But she stops to catch her breath, and starts to cough. Damn. No such luck yet.


This is really good, but some things that I highlighted in red, I think don't go or need an added word.

“Happy Birthday Anna Faith!” I plant a kiss in her baby fine hair, as she smears #FF0000 ">through the icing on her cupcakes. I quickly grab the candles, before she tries to eat them too.


I don't understand this, shouldn't it be as she smears the icing on her cupcakes?

#FF0000 ">Chocolate crumbles in my mouth. The kids helped make these and it was fun. It doesn’t really matter that there are icing smears to kingdom come and the cake is a little dry but all of us made them together: even Anna helped.

I think the "chocolate crumbles in my mouth," just doesn't... fit in somehow, and I think you should add in "but". In the cake is a little dry but all of us made them together.

My #FF0000 ">headvoice screams at me


What do you mean by headvoice? Do you mean concious/thoughts?

She was five months old and after a couple days of some #FF0000 ">extra TLC, she was fine.


Personally, I liked the "extra TLC" but I know some people might say to put it into proper English, but I'd keep it as it is.
Otherwise this is perfect!!!
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This was a cute story, but kind of sad. I've never read any of your other chapters (or even know what this novel is about for that matter) but from this chapter it seemed pretty good.

Chocolate crumbles in my mouth. The kids helped make these #FF0000 ">and it was fun.

That last part just sounded strange to me. You seemed to sound really nice until "and it was fun." I can't pinpoint exactly what's wrong with it but perhaps you should try to make a whole new sentence or reword it to make it sound better. It just sounded strange when I read it to myself.

“Mama.” She says, her dark blue eyes shining. “It my birday.”
“Yup that’s right.” I smile. “How old are you?”
“One, two.” She holds up two fingers. I know that’s about all she can do with her fingers, though. But I can’t be sad anymore…it’s impossible to be sad with a beautiful baby in your lap.
“How are you princess?”I poke her round tummy and she giggles. “Full of cupcakes?” I poke her again, feeling for cupcakes. She giggles again and I hug her tight. “Feels like you’re pretty full.”
“I blowed out my candles.” She reports.

I loved the two year old and I think you did a great job with her character. I could definitely picture a little two year old talking like that. She was so cute:)

Even thought I've never read the rest of the novel I feel like this chapter alone made me get to know the main character. I don't know much about the father, but I now know lots about the mother. It's good you can do that with just one chapter!

Overall it was a good story and I'm really curious what it's all about. I'll have to look into the rest of the novel.
Let's eat mom.
Let's eat, mom.
Good grammar saves lives :D



Depression is messin with the wrong person over here cuz in the months that I was doing better I was sharpening my weapons for this war.
— Kaia