deleted

...

A bit confusing, but it's a dream sequence, so that can easily be excused.

But she held no fear, for the voice gives her the strangest sense of relief.

You just switched tenses--I would suggest "holds" instead of "held."

"Wellbeing" should be "well-being."

I would take out

she goes back to the start

at the end. Make it a bit more ambiguous, at least for this part: if you do things right, things will become clear in the next section. Also, the next to last sentence you have should make things clear enough.

Hi,

I very much liked this, though it needs to be edited. You forgot a bunch of commas, and at the end you should delete that last sentence. Good job.

Farewell,
A.