Flowers In The Vase

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Gender Female
Points 1789
Reviews 52
It’s lonely, and harsh;
An arctic winter
With pins to the face,
Eyes full of mace,
Pulling splinter by splinter.

It’s arousing, and unreal;
Testing the law.
Seemingly fake,
With a life at stake-
Deserting you in awe.

It’s dangerous, and depressing;
Like traveling the path alone-
The rivers leading the way.
Save my life for another day-
My death you’ve postponed.

It’s brave, and gutsy;
Cliff diving of the craved
Leaving you yearning,
and others concerning.
I know I’ve wrongly behaved.

It’s ugly, and disapproved;
The gashes hidden,
Close ones wondering.
Bare legs with covering-
Height forbidden.

It’s tempting, and relieving;
Flesh spilling of wine
With pricks of regret,
the scars won’t forget-
Sinfully divine.

It’s wrong, and hurts;
Stuck in lock down,
Bars conceal emotion.
Begging for devotion;
The blade holds the crown.

It’s tough, and unnatural
Like flowers in a vase.
Embracing my uniqueness,
I’ll overcome this weakness-
These problems I can face.
"It was Cinco de Mayo
Pillow case on his head
No more breathing time
An ambulance sped
It sped round every corner
Calling out his name."
"Lemonade"- Cocorosie




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Points 0
Reviews 56
Wow!

This was very powerful. It was grisly, dark, and very beautiful. It was very moving to me as a reader, which I feel is hard to find in literature these days. This was very nicely written.

The flow of the poem was very smooth and the imagery was great. I liked the subject, too.

Very, very excellent job. Keep it up!

~H




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 518
Reviews 62
I really liked this poem because I could relate (unfortunately) very well to it. :/

You've captured all of the emotions and feelings of going through that. It's amazingly worded and flows perfectly. To me, there's nothing to correct. Everything is perfect and even if somebody didn't exactly know how it feels, they could by reading this. This has touched me and puts an understanding to everything for people who don't understand.

You have done amazingly- Bravo!
-Brie
"None but ourselves can free our minds." ~Bob Marley



My spelling is wobbly. It's good spelling, but it wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places.
— A.A. Milne