Good

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Good
It is simple
and complex.
It is people, mostly children,
but pets, husbands, wives too.
It is approval, nonchalance, dismay,
encouragement, dismissal, and zeal.
It is a greeting
and a farewell.
It is for wishing someone well
with sincerity or sarcasm.
It is a hero
or an ordinary man.
It is flowing in all the strings
that connect the universe.
From the largest galaxies
to the smallest electrons.
It is thriving
Pulsating
Breathing
Equilibrium.
Life
Is good.
Last edited by Nebesah on Sun Jun 19, 2011 6:24 am, edited 2 times in total.
My sister: I'll never forget that day... It was raining wasn't it?
Me: ...no.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Need a review? PM me and I will take care of it. :]

**previously known as EAHailstone**




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This poem is really interesting. I have a few minor issues though:
It is approval, nonchalance, dismay,
encouragement, dismissal, and enthusiasm.

I like the ideas but these two lines throw the rhythm off a bit because they have a lot of syllables.
You have capitalised the first letters of some lines that are in the middle of a sentence e.g:
It is a greeting
And a farewell

but then not done it on others:
It is a hero
or an ordinary man.

I can't say for sure which is right but it's best to make these kind of things the same either way.

My favourite part is the enjambment used in the last two lines, it makes you stop and think before you read the last two words.
Hope this helps
-Megan
~Una palabra no dice nada y al mismo tiempo lo esconde todo~ Carlos Varela




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Hey:) I really like this!
I like how you compare the opposites, but in the end, it all adds up to "Life Is Good", because there needs to be a balance, and there is no good without bad... Made me think, this piece of writing:D
I love this bit:
Pulsating
Breathing
Equilibrium.

It finishes off the idea nicely, into one word at the end, what all the comparisons have been leading to.
Here:
encouragement, dismissal, and enthusiasm.

The enthusiasm seems a tiny bit awkward to me, I think the word here should be shorter. But that might only be me:)
But that's the only critic - I love this, overall.
Keep up the great work!
Polly
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss




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Interesting...nice rythm, I like it. It is deep and mysterious in some ways...
Happiness is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it.




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Creative piece. I didn't particularly enjoy too much myself, (personal taste) but it definitely was interesting. In the third line you say 'mostly children'...is that true? Is the larger part of the world's population children? I honestly don't know. I agree with Megan on those few lines, with all the big words. It doesn't seem to fit, and it's too much like a list.

"well" and "farewell" rhyme in two of the lines, but you don't have a rhyme anywhere else, so you should probably change one.

I liked the ending, and the comparisons you used. (This poem sorta just grew on me as I reviewed, heehee!) Anywhooooo, keep writing!
Have I not commanded thee? Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed, for the lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.




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Wow.
I am very amazed that anyone liked this/took time to read it.
Honestly, I don't like poetry and I like writing it even less but this just popped into my head one night so I said, "hey, why not post it?" so i did.
Now my mind is blown.
So thank you all for your kindness and reviews and what not!
My sister: I'll never forget that day... It was raining wasn't it?
Me: ...no.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Need a review? PM me and I will take care of it. :]

**previously known as EAHailstone**




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1416
Reviews 73
Hmm, I agree with the reviews before me, it was very interesting. It was almost strange in a way! I'm not sure if I liked it or if I didn't. I know that I liked the final sentence the best though.

Keep practicing, and writing poetry!
Don't walk in front of me: I may not follow
Don't walk behind me: I may not lead
Just walk beside me and hold my hand


I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.



When life gives you lemons, make orange juice and leave the world wondering how you did it.
— Grace Helbig