Just for you.

I wish I could tell him how I feel
I wish he could know this is real
No hate no lies
pure love is what I have

He seems blind and its wrong
Why can't he notice?
That it's just getting too strong

Every second we're together
my senses become alive
I need him to know
Though I'm not that strong
I'm afraid to break
Can't he promise he'll stay?

Well I'm not good at reviewing others work but I kinda like it.
Your words were bold and I can feel clearly that you really love this guy. (how pityful)

Well keep it up. Hope to read more of your work.

Aweeeh, very sweet it flows nicely, a few spots it kind of didn't, but thats alright.

Every second we're together my senses become alive

I love that line. It is a very cute poem, keep up the good work
P.S. I am in love with your avatar

I like it. It flows pretty well and it's really sweet. Good job!

I wish I could tell him how I feel,
I wish he could know this is real.
No hate, no lies -
pure love is what I have.

He seems blind and its wrong,
why can't he notice?
That it's just getting too strong.

Every second we're together, (I added a break here)
my senses become alive.
I need him to know,
though I'm not that strong,
I'm afraid to break.
Can't he promise he'll stay?

Ok, other than all the punctuation that added (and some other things) pointed out this poem is great! Wonderful job

Keep writing,
Alzora

OK, I'll get straight to my opinion. This didn't really feel like a poem. Yes poetry is very diverse and free, but this felt more like something you would actually say to someone using your mouth and vocal cords. Yes it had rhyme, but that does not make a poem.
Try to use some literary devices, like metaphors and similes. You're "in your face" telling us how you feel. It would be nicer if we would have to "decode" the poem ourselves. You're giving us everything from the starts and don't let us think. One word: boring. Sorry, harsh. But it really is how I feel about this poem.
There are so many great ways you could describe your feelings in here. For example "My senses become alive" could turn into "My heart sprouts a thousand butterflies" or something. Know what I mean?
Anyway, just my opinion, but my advice to you is to rewrite this one, and pack all the punch you can into it.

Good luck and keep writing!

Hey girl I'm here to review this amazing poem. I love it because it describes just what I'm going through right now. Its like you saw my situatuon from in my head and then wrote a poem about it. I'm not much for poetry but I love this short piece. Keep up the good work and keep writing. Ohh and welcome to YWS. Its an amazing place wih amazing members.

I didn't really consider this a poem more or rather it being your thoughts on paper which is fine. You should tell him how you feel ...........who knows maybe he feels the same way then you guys can laugh about it later.
Overall it was an ok read

Pretty good job. A few things:

my senses become alive

Maybe putting "come alive" would make it flow better.
Also, the fact that the first stanza had four lines, the second had three, and the last had six made the poem seem a little lopsided. This is a good poem with a lot of emotion in it, but if you made it flow better, it might be even more powerful. Great job!

Alright - I'll be extremely and painfully honest here. That was not a good poem.

Your wording was off, there was good flow up until the end of the first stanza where you stumbled, and you had a great idea and a sweet thought which I think you turned into a cliche. I understand this was probably for someone you love; however, it sounds a little too desperate - it's like a teenager pining for someone else.

I do apologize for being harsh, but I really think you could have improved this if you had read over it a few times - make some small adjustments to the way you want your emotion to be understood, because right now, I don't think it's as brilliant as it could be.

Nice concise piece of poetry

Every second we're together
my senses become alive

That is my favourite line as it really shows the emotion and I feel as though it reminds us all how we feel when we truly love somebody.

Lovely piece of writing

I think this is a really nice poem, I'm guessing a lot of people will be able to relate to it who have been in similar situations before, a lot of strong emotions really come through. However I think you could maybe have displayed your views in a more poetic way, by maybe being less conceptual and obvious but more visual, so that the reader gets more than just the story from your poem but also sees things like symbolism or metaphors or imagery, that's just my opinion. I also felt it was a little bit odd how you rhymed in the second verse but then didn't have this rhyme anywhere else. Again that's only a minor thing and just my personal opinion. Overall though I do like the ideas and emotion you show in this poem.