Assassin

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After the setting of the sun
In this medieval city,
A man ghosts from the shade
His soul devoid of all pity.

His garb was dyed a dusky gray
For melting into the night
He moved with a purpose
While still hidden from sight.

He silently pads to the door
Of a beautiful manse
To enter, he knows too well,
"I only have one chance."

A guard stands just round the corner
So his stealth is his need
The door opens - no lock-
He moves with silent speed.

He creeps up the stairs silently
Into a bedroom dim
This silent shade of death
Comes to claim its victim.

The long, thin knife is in hand
Its edge so razor keen
The slumb'rer sleeps in peace
His life-taker yet unseen.

The blade slips in atwixt his ribs
Stealing his life's last breath
The knife is extracted
Ev'ly grinning with the death.

Suddenly a sound is in the hall
The knife is stowed and hidden
Longer rapier is in hand
Called into place, but unbidden.

A woman walks in, but then stops
With horror in her eyes
At the shadowed murd'rer
Then with piercing shriek cries.

Lightning fast's the rapier's flash
And stops the womans cries
Her lifeblood begins to spill
Her face full of surprise.

The assassin sprints for the door
To flee into the night
But the alarmed house guard
Is ready for the fight.

The guard charges up the stairs
But falls to armored knees
Wounded by the hurl'ed knife
Whose movement's a death-breeze.

The assassin flees through the door
Escaping into the night
He proceeds into a tavern
With his blades out of sight.

He sits in a shadowed corner
Across from another man
Who's dressed in kingly garb
His fat, bearded face deadpan.

"Is the deed done?" he asks quickly
His eyes are eager, bright
Ready to hear the answer
He's waited for all night.

"It's done, but two unpaid deaths,
So now the price is tripled."
The noble looks hurt, aghast,
As if he had been crippled.

The noble leaves on the table
Three sacks filled up with gold
The price he'd had to pay
For this, three lives were sold.

His employer gone, the killer waves
To a passing barmaid.
"What can I get you, sir?"
"The best wine you have, I'll raid."

She brings him a bottle of wine
But the glass, he declined.
He raises it, uncorked, to his lips
And said, "This'll do just fine."

He sits there for the whole night
Filled with inner strife
And just try to forget
That he had to take a life.
Last edited by EtCetera on Thu Jun 16, 2011 9:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.




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That was... Written very interestingly. It was not what I'm used to reading, and it was extremely well written. The way you went into detail, but not too much, left you wondering why he wanted to kill someone. The last line that shows he's human, and he felt some kind of guilt was awesome. :) Awesome job.
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss




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This is by far the best poem I have read in a very long time! Well done! I love your description and your attention to detail! You painted pictures in my mind with your words! Well done!
Keep Writing,
~FW~
http://www.isiseiyr.com
~When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world. ~ George Carver

Writing...they claim it is a dangerous occupation... 'they' have no idea!




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The way you went into detail, but not too much, left you wondering why he wanted to kill someone. The last line that shows he's human, and he felt some kind of guilt was awesome. :) Awesome job.

This is by far the best poem I have read in a very long time! Well done! I love your description and your attention to detail! You painted pictures in my mind with your words! Well done!
Keep Writing,
~FW~

I can't really say much else. No mistakes, and this was extremely good to read!! Well done!!! :)
"The difficulty of literature is not to write, but to write what you mean." -Robert Louis Stevenson
"Write or die trying."
JA hatar pisanje.




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That was fun to read. I felt that some of the rhyme was original; I enjoyed it. I think a followup of the poem from the victim would be an interesting addition.




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Well, it was an interesting poem, about people being killed. But unique which I like, maybe try something more peaceful, but it was interesting. I really liked it akwardly, but it was good.I hope you get it published because I relaly liked it, and it was really good other than the killing part, but that sometimes makes the best story.
~KC Under~ Unique- not weird ;D




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Hey Etc! :D

Is there any reason why this poem is red, besides the whole bloodiness of the poem? If there isn't any particular reason, or if it's just because the poem is bloody, I would probably get rid of it. The poem isn't that bloody. I don't know... maybe I've been spoiled recently because I've been reading Greek tragedies as of late, but it's really not that bad. I am thinking, right now, of Aeschylus's Agamemnon, where Agamemnon is described as slitting his daughter's throat after she begs and pleads for him not to do it. (Here's a text of the play Agamemnon. The part dealing with the sacrifice I just mentioned is lines 250-300, though if you want to read it all, I highly recommend it!)

Now, one thing that I thought was a bit odd. This might just be me being a little too modern, but from what I understand, assassins have to know the people that they will kill very well in order to actually kill them. So, I actually know people who were in the military who drink heavily because they had to do the research of these people and they know them very intimately, if that makes sense. It's not just the taking of a life. That's easily enough done. It's thoroughly understanding the person that is what tears them apart because then the realization hits them that they've just destroyed a human being who was not altogether evil. This sort of feeling is largely missing in your poem, which is a pity. The victims seem to be more like cardboard than actual people. So, my advice would be put some pathos in the people in this poem. Make it much more of a tragedy. Right now, you're just touching the surface. Go deeper.
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D




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I didn't notice this before, but when I read it again, I found only one punctuation error.
The assassin sprints for the door
To fle into the night- flee
But the alarmed house guard
Is ready for the fight.

That was all I noticed.
"The difficulty of literature is not to write, but to write what you mean." -Robert Louis Stevenson
"Write or die trying."
JA hatar pisanje.




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This is truly art. It's what narrative poetry is about- telling a story and leaving people with enough unanswered questions to read it again.
The constancy of the rhyme scheme made it work. It's really long, I appreciate that.
I wonder about the assassin now, why he killed three people for money and then felt bad. It's something that shows a different side of him. There's so much hidden between the lines.
Keep writing! Can't wait to read more!
A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes. I screamed aloud as it tore through them and now it's left me blind.
Florence and the Machine, Cosmic Love



I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
— Solomon Short