Mirror

Mirror

Tell me your pain
Talk to the mirror
Move your lips
And watch it respond
Lift a hand
To your face
And touch the mask
Of a murderer
Fire glows
In your eyes
Pick up the knife
Once again
Lift it higher
A thrust awaiting
Kill me now. . .
Help me out
Do it now
Before you fall apart
I need your sorrow
I want the delicious pain
Blood is trapped
Within my sanity
Let it free
But no
Watch in the mirror
I gaze with tears
As you turn
The knife
To your chest
Leave it still
Cornered and trapped
And as I scream
Beg for the kill
You push it forward
And end your pain

wow. terrific. i luv how its like her innerself is the reflection, and its screaming to her to kill herself. wow that gave me goosebumps.

i honestly think, and don't freak, that you can capture what i want to do, or what i feel, in your poems, and that's an amazing complimint for any poet, or writer, as for the poem itself, why not try a rhyming one somethime, that can be the true test of skill for anyone! XD love yous!!!!

I really like the concept this poem has, and all the emotion behind it... I don't think you need to make any improvements! it's a great poem! I love it!

Wow. This was extremely well written. I could feel everything you were trying to say. No mistakes, either. Great job!

This is awesome.

You have such great imagery in here I can totally imagine being right there and watching everything you describe.
Plus you have really great emotion and flow.
I didn't see any grammatical problems other than that you need to use more periods and less commas. When writing a poem you don't need a comma at the end of every line. You can use a period, or have no punctuation at all (if there should be no punctuation). i.e.
(A comma) I loved my brother,
He gave me so many joys.
(A period) I can't believe he's gone.
(A space) I will keep him
In my memory forever.

Ok?
Otherwise, great poem. I really loved it.

Keep writing,
Alzora

The way that you've laid it out gives it a kind of desperate urgency, which I thought was a very interesting effect and your imagery is pretty spectacular. I almost felt like the secne was taking place in the same room as me.I really enjoyed reading it.

Great job, I couldn't have written something like this any better than you have, I don't think anybody could have. I sincerely liked it. Good Job! Never, ever stop writing!