I'm sorry.

Spoiler

I wrote this as a way of closure... I just lost an old childhood freind... If you don't mind, I'd love some help.. maybe the topic is causing me not to like it, but I think the piece could be better

I’m sorry I reached my limit and that I couldn’t take anymore.
I’m sorry I broke my promises but I’d made them before.
Before we grew apart, now things are different.
And I don’t know where to start.

Maybe it’s better, that it’s this way.
We can deal with things without worrying what the other will say.
I never meant to hurt you, please don’t misunderstand.
It’s not like I had any of this planned.

But, the path you chose to take… isn’t one I could follow.
I didn't know what to do, and everything I did was like putting on a show.
It’s not fair to either of us, and to me at least, it feels like a lie.
I can’t help the way I feel, it’s who I am, but I did try.

You know I love you and that will never change.
It’s just that, too much has happened, all of it strange.
Maybe one day, you’ll forgive me for what I’ve done
Just remember, you’re not the only one hurting, this feels like poison.

I can’t undo what I did, and I’m not sure that I would.
But no matter where we go from here, we'll have the memories of our childhood.


P.S. The ending was meant to be short and abrupt.. just like the ending to the friendship. (Just thought I'd point that out.)

I really don't have anything punctuation or capitalization wise. Good job with that.
The rhyming scheme was okay, although in a few parts, it didn't seem to flow.

Amberla93 wrote:Before we grew apart, now things are different.
And I don’t know where to start.

the last words don't rhyme, and the way you were writing this, they were supposed to.

Amberla93 wrote:But, the path you chose to take… isn’t one I could follow.
I didn't know what to do, and everything I did was like putting on a show.

I think you want follow and show to rhyme here...but they don't really go together.

Amberla93 wrote:Maybe one day, you’ll forgive me for what I’ve done
Just remember, you’re not the only one hurting, this feels like poison.

These two lines were the most awkward for me. The flow got messed up.


I'll end with my two favorite parts of your poem!

Amberla93 wrote:I’m sorry I reached my limit and that I couldn’t take anymore.

and

Amberla93 wrote:I can’t undo what I did, and I’m not sure that I would.
But no matter where we go from here, we'll have the memories of our childhood.

I liked the ending too because it really related to my life as well. My childhood friend and I lost our friendship very abruptly.

I've said this before, but i really think poetry is hard to critique because of all the different 'poetic lisence' so to speak. i really liked this despite how it made me really depressed, which i was supposed to feel. it really made me feel the longing of past memories and sad reminders. i really liked the rhyme scheme aswell. i think you did an excellent job and did your feeling justice. i am particularly attentative to your phrasing in some parts. i really look forward to reading more of your stuff!

Good poem.The rhyming is somewhat awkward. And in the the 4th para 2nd line i think it should be "has" instead of "as".

Hmm.... Very interesting.

Keep Writing,
~FW~

It is full of emotion, it kinda makes me depressed because it reminds me of something...but overall its a very deep and serene-like poem. I loved it. Never change, don't stop.

I like this! It reminds me of a poem I wrote, actually, titled "I'm Sorry", as well!

I like how you made the ending abrupt---"like the ending of a friendship"---I thought that to be a fine idea!

A good write, indeed!