My Greatest Fear

My Greatest Fear

There is a time,
when in your mind.
Where fears appear,
there is no cheer.

There will come a fear,
that will hit you near.
With a saddened frown,
I let her down.

She had faith,
that went to waste.
My greatest fears,
are in mom’s tears.

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This is an old poem I wrote about six or seven years back.
I did something that upset my mom, I suppose I wrote this to cheer her up.
Just thought I'd share.

This piece was decent, but rather short. I think you should revise and make a little longer. Good idea though. Please check out some of my stuff sometime! Cheers and keep up the good work.

This was an interesting piece. It could be lengthened, but I'll just look over what you have here.

There is a

time,
when in your mind#FF0000 ">.
Where fears appear,
there is no cheer.

The period in this stanza, after when in your mind, needs to be a comma. It's very interesting, though a bit confusing. Maybe, lengthening it, and adding some metaphors would help this. Not that it's bad, but it could add some spark.

There will come a fear,
that will hit you near.
With a saddened frown,
I let her down.

This stanza is really, really awesome. I adored it.

She had faith,
that went to waste.
My greatest fears,
are in mom’s tears.

I can't really say anything about this stanza except how sweet this is. It's very sweet, though short. I really think that if you lengthened it a bit, it would help the poem over-all. I think it's more of a turn off to read an extremely short poem than it is to read a really long poem.

The reason you wrote it is very sweet. I'm sure your mom loved it as well. Well done.