twistfaint<3

4 posts
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I
may twist my
hands as gracefully as a dove
in flight;

corroded
like the summer cliffs in Arizona.
Breathe in the air,
breathe out the sweet toxins


we pushed from our bodies like sweat
from the brow of your mother
just before she knew you

are a

monsterthiefrabbi. And I--

I must be dashing, darling,
because my wrists,
they are so fragile,

so weak, tender like fresh-cut
venison from the bone, and I
cannot bear the carmine

beatbeatbeat of your transient affections.

Snap, snap, snap like fingers in the fog.
"There are certain natures that cannot have love on one side without hatred on the other." -Victor Hugo




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Points 23425
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Hi!
I love your tone in this piece. It just sounds really good when I read it in my head. You use some really good description an imagery, and... I don't really have anything to criticise, but it's always useful to know what you're doing right, right? Right.
Matt.




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Gender Male
Points 652
Reviews 178
Great description! Don't take this in the wrong way, but I didn't get the meaning... You may want to elaborate! It did have very good vivid imagery!
Review unto others as you would have others review unto you.

Don't panic!

Also, Shino!




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Gender Female
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Love it. I do. But what in the world is it about?
"And when you're out there,
without care, yeah,
I was out of touch!
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough,
I just knew too much."



Be the annoying goose you want to see in the world.
— Welcome to Night Vale