It was okay. It sort of seemed ... well I can't describ how it seemed, but i can tell you that what I mean isn't bad, nor good. I think it should be a little longer, and more poetic.
Doesn't make much sense. The last line should be swapped with the third one, for a coherent thought to be made. I would also replace the "all" with "their" solely because it flows better.
In one ear and out the other,
Speaking the lines upon my bed,
When will they stay inside my head
Soon I know they'll lose their meaning.
On the whole, this was rather pointless, but I suppose if a piece of literature inspired you to write something about it, it is very good, and I assume this isn't so much for us as it is for you.
"If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders." -Hal Abelson
Underwater pigs = cool. However... the middle section you had didn't really help, and because it seemed so random, the last part didn't fit at all. But the beginning was nice!
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.
"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach
