Tangled Affection

This is a story. It is short. It mentions cheese doodles, ducks, and science fairs. It is my entry to Jas' Awesome Prompt Filled Contest (You want to enter!) {Caps not included.} It lacks some serious plot. I don't know what to add that will not turn this into a long story. I am done for the night.
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"C'monc'monc'monc'monc'monCOMEONNNNNNNN!!!!"

The little girl danced around her older brother, grabbing rather frantically at his clothes.

Roy laughed. "All right, all right! Just let me finish getting the snacks. You're going to make me spill the cheese doodles!"

Heaving a belabored sigh of frustration, Angela stepped back and pouted. "But I wanna watch the movie!"

This earned another hearty chuckle. "You've already seen it five times!"

"Yeah, but not on DVD! It only just came out today!! COME ONNNNNNN, let's go watch iiitttt!!!"

"Ok, ok, I'm coming, I'm coming!"

The brunette boy smiled fondly after the blonde curlytop disappearing into the next room. 'She's even more excited about this movie than I was about the Star Wars movies--and I did a project on them for my school science fair!' Shaking his head indulgently, he followed his sister to the couch.
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Watching Angela was just as entertaining as watching the movie, Roy decided.

She lit up even before it began, wriggling in her seat with the anticipation of one who has rediscovered a long-lost treasure. Her eyes gleamed and her face scrunched in laughter at the jokes, while she gasped at the scary parts and cried during the sad bits.

It was especially entertaining to watch her sing along with all the songs, even trying to imitate the crooks of the Fuzzy Duckling--her version of the hook-hand thug was guffaw inducing. And, as she pulled him from the couch to whirl along with the characters in the dancing scene, he couldn't help lifting her up to hold her close.

She was the most beautiful, precious, perfect little sister a guy could ever have, and he'd be damned if he would [italic]ever[/italic] let her go.
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Why yes, Angela is me my inner child, why do you ask?

Can't'cha just see the potential for a novel with two siblings whose parents have died, and as a consequence the brother is somewhat overly protective, and there's the possibility for this to either be mildly annoying and stop as he realizes his faults, or for him to become completely obsessive and creepy (which I'm not sure I want to do, but it could happen)? Cuz I certainly can!

And in case you couldn't tell, I'm completely obsessed with Tangled. GO WATCH IT RIGHT NAOW!!!!

I liked this, it was short and sweet and you effectively showed the characters. I especially liked how you weren't afraid to put a lot of description in.

My one nitpick was the speech. I know you were trying to show how she talked, but sometimes it could be annoying. Like in the very beginning you didn't even put spaces between the words. Plus, for a lot of the other things if you added, "she squealed drawing out the words' it would have same affect.

Besides that it is great. I wish I could have helped more,

A. S.

Hey there Anime - I'm gonna go ahead and shorten your name for you

I suddenly remembered that you'd reviewed my contest entry for me, so I thought I'd go ahead and return the favour

I like this - it was cute and easy to read. I think you did a good job on the descriptions that you included, but I agree with the reviewer above in that the dialogue - especially where Angela was concerned - got a little annoying. You don't need to add all of the extra letters in to show the reader that she's putting more emphasis on the words. You could just put the words into italics instead. It would have the same impact, yet it would be less distracting to the reader.

E.g -This;

"C'monc'monc'monc'monc'monCOMEONNNNNNNN!!!!"

would be better as;

'"C'mon-c'mon-c'mon-c'mon-c'mon-c'mon!"'

Also, as this -

'She's even more excited about this movie than I was about the Star Wars movies--and I did a project on them for my school science fair!'

- is a thought, I think it would be better in italics, so it's clearer to the reader that it's a thought.

who has rediscovered

'has' should be 'had' as the piece is written in past tense.

The ending made me go 'Aww'.

This was a cute little story and I enjoyed reading about the special bond between brother and sister.

I hope this helps!

Good luck in the contest!

xDudettex

Nice, very cute. I'm not sure I have any real criticisms that haven't already been mentioned and I like these little "slice of life" pieces that don't tell a huge story but are basically just one or two moments out of someone's day-to-day.
I did see Tangled shortly after reading this the first time (yesterday) and yes, it was pretty good storywise.
So nice story, it kinda leaves me wishing I had a little sister instead of my two older ones...oh well, better than naught.