The Foolish Tool

Just a step to lend support, no greater purpose to me.
What else is there to be? Just a fool, average tool..

What can you see?
People look right past, what hopes and dreams?
This pain it seems, won't ever mean there is an end.
I'm just a fool. Typical tool..


I'll sit and watch the day go by, letting time fly.
Each Hello goes; into goodbye. You beautiful lie.
Your foolish tool has no more use. Give me away..


From each new face, memory born with scars to make. I am a fake,
A masterpiece of old mistakes. I'll take pain for your sake..
I'll be your fool.. your simple tool.

I want to break. Don't wish to be, just what you see.
The same old fool. The same old tool.
But I'll stay here just for you. I will...


..Just lie and say you "love" me still.

I really like this poem, its very clean and cut if and well written. I love the way you rhyme in the different lines, very beautiful and poetic, and its original to me. And I like original!! I love these lines:

What can you see?
People look right past, what hopes and dreams?
This pain it seems, won't ever mean there is an end.
I'm just a fool. Typical tool..

It seems like something people should read and enjoy, like I did....

Much appreciated! I feel overjoyed to see that you picked up on what I tried to convey with this. It's something that comes out of personal experience as well as natural viewpoints, perspectives and so on. I'm very glad you enjoyed it!

I really enjoyed this poem, especially the story. It was really well-written. The ending was my favourite part

But I'll stay here just for you. I will...


..Just lie and say you "love" me still.

I also agree with lele253isme, your rhyming scheme is very original, which I like.

The only error I found was:

Your beautiful lie.

I think you meant "your" instead of "you". If not then I would change "beautiful" to "beautifully". Depends on how you want to write it.

Overall, great work! (:

I like the poem a lot, but the puncuation is a little off. I
Heres my review,
Red- Grammar errors
Blue- My suggestions
Purple- Little comments

Just a step to lend support, no greater purpose to me.
What else is there to be?
Just a fool, average tool.. << Remove the second period, or add a third. I think this should be a line of its own.

I'll sit and watch the day go by, letting time fly.
Each Hello goes; into goodbye. You beautiful lie. A simi-colon (I think that is what that is) is only used to seperate two sentences that can stand on there own as individual sentences.
Your foolish tool has no more use. Give me away.. << I'm guessing you want it to be three periods. Add another period here and else where where there are only two, there needs to be three.

From each new face, memory born with scars to make. I am a fake,
A masterpiece of old mistakes. I'll take pain for your sake.. << I really love this line!
I'll be your fool.. your simple tool.

Very good poem!

~Rain~