An Ode to American Idol

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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 5
The audition room where dreams come true
tears may fall but not from you.
You stand with the judges, that royal court,
and pray that your voice does not fall short.

Then Hollywood calls and your name is in lights
Randy agrees that you're pretty "Tight."
The other singers stand by your side
and everyone is, simply, beaming with pride.

Every one cheers as you sing on the stage
you're astonished you got here from minimum wage.
It's all so big, so blue, and so grand,
and everyone sings along with that band.

One by one you new friends go home
but now there are two you're not yet alone
Ryan looks at the name in hands
and as he tells you you've won the audiance stands.

The rooms filled with laughter and smiles and glee
good thing next year the winner will be me.
I don't want to gain the whole world and lose my soul.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 3435
Reviews 125
That is one of the best poems I have ever read!!!

Keep it up you ere very telented. You should be a famous writer. Who does'nt like you!!!

-Pixie2
Ps. I mean what I wrote you are awsome!
All you need is faith, trust, and a little bit of pixie-dust!




Random avatar
Gender Male
Points 5889
Reviews 111
I would have to say this poem was not that great. First, because of the title. American Idol is a joke, the voting is rigged somehow because the best singers never win, and second because the flow of the poem seemed off to me. Punctuation and word choice diminished the quality. For example:

The audition room where dreams come true
tears may fall but not from you. [color=#000000]This should be a separate sentence. The flow makes it a run-on. Bad.[/color]
You stand with the judges, that royal court,
and pray that your voice does not fall short.


The royal court is weird and cuts the flow off.

Next:
and everyone is, simply, beaming with pride.


There should be no comma here. That creates an unnecessary pause, which hurts the poem.

One by one you new friends go home
but now there are two you're not yet alone


This should either be a separate sentence, or it should have a semi-colon because that is not grammatically correct. Overall I did not find anything particularly great about this poem. It was one of those, to me, that was just eh. I assume this was more for yourself than anyone though right? Message me if you want anymore advice or help with anything else.
-Dante93




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Gender Female
Points 1859
Reviews 34
This is a cute and lightly funny poem. I like the ending. "The rooms filled with laughter and smiles and glee/ good thing next year the winner will be me." I thought this was pretty funny. I like the vocabulary you used, it made the poem really glow with happiness and magic. The poem emphasizes the phrase "Dreams do come true." For example,

"Every one cheers as you sing on the stage
you're astonished you got here from minimum wage.
It's all so big, so blue, and so grand,
and everyone sings along with that band."

I like this for the vocabulary you used. This is also an example of the poem emphasizing the phrase "Dreams do come true." Although, I notice you wrote "Every one." I think you should change that to Everyone.

Also, in the line, "Randy agrees that you're pretty 'Tight.'", you wrote "Tight." I think you should change that to "tight."

"One by one (a comma here) you(r) new friends go home
but now there are two (a comma here) you're not yet alone
Ryan looks at the name in (his) hands
and as he tells you (put a comma here) you've won the audiance (change to audience) stands."

The comments I put in parentheses are just what I think you should do. You don't have to do what I say I think you should do. These are just suggestions. Although, overall, like I said, the poem is cute and lightly funny. Keep writing poetry because I think you'll get better with practice and with people's comments and suggestions! :)
"A writer should write with his eyes and a painter paint with his ears." - Gertrude Stein




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Gender Female
Points 925
Reviews 61
I liked the poem itself.. the subject not so much. I was once the biggest American Idol fan to be found anywhere. But the show has changed so much over the years.. First Paula left, then Simon... And the people who get through... some of them just don't deserve to. But, back to your piece. It feels like more of a story, which is nice in a way, I don't know I thought it was cute. You did a good job. Keep writing!

God Bless,
Amber.
Life is short, so make the best of the time you have!



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