There Is Emptiness, and Then There Is Pain.

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Hey everyone, I've just realized how long it's been since I posted anything... so here goes.

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Pain.

Her loving, terrible caress wraps around me, bringing me a moment of relief. She squeezes me, begging me to scream for her. Tears well in my eyes, though I can’t feel them. I feel her give me a dull pang in my lower legs as I fall to the floor. Through the fuzzy, twisted, stained-glass vision that my tear-filled eyes give me, I can see my reflection. Is this really my face? Pale, gaunt skin, stretched thinly across my skull like wax paper. My eyes, small glittering black orbs, are sunken into my skull like a pair of buried onyx stones. Black hair clings to my skull desperately, limp, filthy, and unhealthy. No, that can’t be me…

Suddenly that long-awaited scream tears itself from my throat as Pain kisses along my spine, causing my body to shudder and convulse. It fades, and then begins again, much like a heartbeat, as she envelops me in her kiss, filling my chilled, empty body. I tremble as her grip on me strengthens. Tears are streaming down my face now, melting diamonds. I can see them splattering on the shining, cold floor.

Sing for me, my darling, a voice soothes, sing for me, and I will give you relief the likes of which you’ve never felt before…

I open my mouth to do as she asks, but the sound refuses to escape my throat, caught there like a fly in a spider’s web.

Silence presses in around me, filling my ears with his lies and deceit. Pushing, crushing, forcing…

And when I don’t please her, Pain begins to forsake me, her loving embrace slipping away…

… Empty…

“NO!" I scream, sound finally escaping, “DON’T STOP! PLEASE!”

She returns to me, draping herself over my form once more. Why? she whispers in my ear, you didn’t sing for me, Laina…

“I’m sorry,” I whisper hoarsely, “I can sing, I can sing… don’t leave me…”

A bell-like laugh hisses in my ear, causing me to tremble. Suddenly her kiss becomes fierce, terrible, rough… I scream again, feeling my throat being torn raw by her wonderful, horrible touch.

Yes… sing darling…

My poor, empty shell shudders and trembles at how much relief Pain is giving me. Lovely, lovely relief, no more emptiness…

But finally, Pain grows weary of me.

Goodbye Laina, she whispers in my ear, slipping away.

I can only lie there, savoring the ache she leaves behind, a mere grain of the wonders she gave me before.
Just another quack spouting psychobabble.

"If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose, then I'm mad. That's the way history is written."




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Haunting. It's the first word that popped into my head when I read this. It's very well written, and I'm kind of a fan of stream-of-consciousness writing. However, I also like when that writing goes somewhere, too.

From what I can tell, the story is about a girl that is near death, and she's in a lot of pain, but can't yet die. Sad, but that's only my interpretation. Someone else could read this and be thinking something entirely different. It's a good flash piece, and probably could be developed into something else (you mentioned something about that in chat).

Excellent writing, and I'm really in love with the first part of the first sentence: "Her loving, terrible caress..." Really great stuff.

KF




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:) Thank you Flem. I sort of left it open for interpretation; if I'd wanted you to know exactly what's going on in the story, I'd have added far more detail to her surroundings. You really have to know the character to know what's actually happening.
Just another quack spouting psychobabble.

"If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose, then I'm mad. That's the way history is written."



Mariah Carey
— WFP chat in Holiday Trivia Night (2025)