The Door to Heaven

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This is unusual for me to write something like this, but I wanted to do something a little different. This is what I do in boredom! If there is any grammer or spelling mistakes, let me know!

There is a knocking, a tapping,
someone eager to get in the door.
Open it, see them,
let them knock no more.

There is a singing, a mourning,
Someone sad to pass the door.
Open it, hear them,
Let them mourn no more.

There is a crying, a screaming,
A pain to step through the door.
Open it, feel them,
Let them scream no more.

There is a person fearing, wondering,
Someone scared to pass the door.
Open it, tell them,
Let them fear no more.
Last edited by ForsakenAngel on Sun Mar 27, 2011 12:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
Hakuna Matata <3
RIP to all my friends who didn’t make it.

Hop freight or get lost.




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Hey there and wow!

This is great! I like the way you write it and I think you should write more. The way you write it makes the reader and me could imagine how the situation is. This is different than all the other poems I have read. Most poems are romantic, but this is a one in a million.

All of all, I really liked it.

Good luck and keep writing,

Alicia.
"The nicest part is being able to write down all my thoughts and feelings, otherwise I‘d absolutely suffocate."- Anne Frank




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Hello! :D

I didn't see the title first, so when I read it, I was like, "OMG, IS SHE TALKING ABOUT HEAVEN? I BET SHE IS." Then I looked up at the title, and BAM. It made me really happy! So yay for you! :D

My only slight hitch (which is of the nitpicky variety) is that the introductory stanza sounds like it's a suicide or something because they're eager to get in, whereas the ones below are more typical of actual physical death.

Still, I liked it very much. :D
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

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I liked this it was really great but when you wrote it and you put "Let then mourn no more." i love the way you stated it but is it supposed to be "Let then mourn no more" or "Let them mourn no more"?:)




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Sorry about that, fixed it! It was a typo.

~Forsakinshadow~
Hakuna Matata <3
RIP to all my friends who didn’t make it.

Hop freight or get lost.




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Hiya!

I was surprised at how much I liked this. Like Snoink, I didn't actually read the title before clicking, half because I just linked myself elsewhere so I'd remember to review, but either way I very much enjoyed this, especially verse one. You just know that person committed suicide. x3 *likes*

>>Annie<<
Ideas don't stay in heads very long because they don't like solitary confinement.



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