Nightmare

The too-familiar sound of yelling flooded her ears. The unmistakable
smell of alcohol and cigarettes floated towards her as he got closer.
Her shirt damp with sweat pressed against the small of her back-
against the deep maroon colored lines spelling out ‘worthless’ in
sloppy yet vehement writing. She trembled, shielding her face with her
shaking hands which were covered in small circular welts from his
cigarettes.

Suddenly the face of her older brother flashed in front of her. He was
so vivid she thought as the she could reach out and touch him. How she
yearned for him to hold her in his arms once again. There was blood
dripping down the side of his face. His eyes were glassy and distant.
He was protecting her. Taking the blows that had her name on them. She
pealed her eyes away from his tormented face to see a small girl
cowering in the corner shaking violently and choking out something in
between and scream and a sob. Her shirt had been torn off and hanging
of her shoulder. It took her a moment to realize that the girl in the
corner was herself.

Then, as quickly as she had left, she was back in the kitchen. She
looked down to see her feet tightly bound with rope, and her left arm
handcuffed to the refrigerator door. They pinched her wrist as she
struggled. Around her, smoke and flames were engulfing everything. She
felt like she was suffocating. As if someone had reached in and taken
all the life out of the world. She closed her eyes as she swayed,
unable to keep her balance.

The sharp feeling of the cold rusty blade to her neck brought her to a
new location. This time, it was the hallway between the kitchen and
her room. The back of her head pressed firmly against the dirty
peeling wall behind her. He had one arm twisting her wrists until she
thought they would be yanked out and his other arm holding the knife
to her neck. His face was so close to her’s that she could make out
every detail of his rotting yellow teeth and fowl breath. She closed
her eyes letting her thoughts drown out his angry growling. For a
split second, her mind slipped to a place where she could be happy.
Free. Safe. But those thoughts were shattered and she was brought back
as the tip of the blade nicked her neck. She whimpered in pain.

Suddenly she bolted upright. There she was, back in her own bed. She
stifled a scream and dug her fingernails into her arm to distract
herself from the images that were still running through her head. Even
now, so many years later, her dreams weren’t a safe place to hide from
the terrors of her past.

Hi. I feel special being the first person to give you a review. Lol. I must say your storyline is good. Your descriptions of the girls feelings and emotions during the nightmare were very vivid. I could picture it quite well. The only problem I have with your story, is its flow. You should try and paragraph it better, by linking each paragraph with the next. In each paragraph tackle a new idea. In your story the change in paragraphs could b used to illustrate the change in the nightmares setting. I don't know if this was the way you typed it, or the browser that I am using, but it seems that you've started new paragraphs in mid sentence, and this is very confusing for the reader. I suggest that you revisit the story, and develop it a bit more. Spend time describing the reasons for her nightmares. Include other images in the nightmare that may give clues to her life. Such as who is abusing her or who is she afraid of. All in all an entertaining piece has a lot of room for development. It may result in a very brilliant story given the right attention, many people can relate to this story, be it directly or indirectly. Oh yes, one more thing describe the girls feelings after the nightmare and her fear of it. For example "She dug her nails into her arm, remembering the frightful nightmares that had plagued her for ages! She wished she could block it out, but alas that power was out of her reach. Her past was too strong for her to control. Her life was ruled by fear. . . Whether she liked it or not. . . " This was what I wrote from your work, hoping it may help you develop your story and create a masterpiece. Do me a favour check out my work and give me opinions and thoughts, I'm also new. Lol all the best.
ToLy

I loved it alot but I feel something a miss try to put more in it.