A prayer for the foolish

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WritersUnleashed
Gender Male
Points 492
Reviews 101
Tue Mar 15, 2011 4:59 am
WritersUnleashed says... · Tue Mar 15, 2011 4:59 am
No aethistic comments. And yes, I know it doesn't rhyme lol.

The father in our life,
Please be merciful.
I know that I have sinned.
You know it more than I.
Please god,
Show mercy on thy foolish sons.
Show mercy on your beloved ones.
Oh lord, this prayer is not for me,
But for the ones I know;
The ones I don’t.
I know the world has sinned,
Greater than even I.
Please lord, forgive them.
For when they have sinned,
I have sinned.
And for my sins,
I am truly sorry.
Amen.
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VousEsEtonnant
Gender Female
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Reviews 67
Thu Mar 17, 2011 2:28 am
VousEsEtonnant says... · Thu Mar 17, 2011 2:28 am
I laughed at your warning, because I am infact an athiest. But since when did that matter? :) there isnt much wrong with this poem, that I see. It is well planned. You did give a good clear surge of the message. Though, it was hazy at first. But the flow is never broken and the the theme is nice. Congrats! :)
"And when you're out there,
without care, yeah,
I was out of touch!
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough,
I just knew too much."
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In the winter months, gale storms in Svalbard can reach wind speeds of 130 km/h. Accompanied by or following snowfall, such storms can reduce visibility dramatically, more so in the winter months of the polar night. During these storms, travel is not advised.
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