Tomorrow

Spoiler

If you want to hear this poem put to music, PM me.

I was in this fantabulous show about bugs, and it was big and bright and wonderful. This poem/sonnet... it expresses everything I'm feeling right now. Other than the fact that I'm crying my eyes out. I wrote this last night at midnight when I realized that I would never fall asleep.

~Taylor

Did you just seriously misspel tomorrow? That is really bad, noticing that it is the thread name, so ya. The rhythm isn't really hard. It is a little hard to keep up, and some lines do not make sense at all. Don't be discouraged, for I see the effort.

-WU

That poem was nice. I think it gave a good visual and a good mood and/or tone. Maybe you should do a variety of different poems. You could also write a book because you are good at making scenes I hope this helped a little bit. Keep writing!

I like the mood and the visual. However, I would like to see more punctuation in it. I know that there is poetic liscense and all, but it's hard to follow without the punctuation within the lines. I would also ask for you to spell check tomarrow. Because it is tomorrow. Sorry, that's bothering me and I don't mean to sound like a spelling snob. The villian is conquered by love...that doesn't make sense at all within the poem. To me, it sounds like a graduation poem, about someone having good times and finally has to leave his/her friends. The sonnet is nice, but it could use some work.

I liked the setting... It's a nice piece...
I loved the stanza:
I will forever remember this whole ride
But time does pass and sadly now it ends
My grief and sadness I don't have to hide
I still have tomarrow with my best friends...
Keep up the good work...

I'm not going to lie, i got a bit lost in that poem. The title doesn't give much away (which is fine) but neither did the actual poem so i'm a tad confused as to its content. However, the rhyming is good, punctuation could do with a little work as well. Overall i think you will need to go away and look through it again, try and make your point a little less obscure then re-submit it so that i may be able to give you a better and more helpful piece of feedback. Don't give up though!

My heart races as music starts to sound

I know the rhyme would've been affected, but the verb "play" would've been more suitable. If you could find a word for to rhyme with "play" in the thrid line...

In this bug world we are cut down to size

Alright, now I sure understand what you wanted to say here, but "bug life" isn't exactly appropiate. Perhaps "in this lil' world" would be a better choice, but that's up to you. ;p

I still have tomorrow with my best friends

Isn't it supposed to be tomorrow?

The curtain falls and now we must depart
Stay dear to me, stay near inside my heart

The ending was the best part of the whole poetry in my opinion. Brilliant rhyme also (verb-noun)! I loved it!
Though, the rest of the poem could use some editing. It is good, but it could be better.