only guys are sexist

but when it's the end of the world
do you think we'll have a reason to live?

I used to read you like a bestseller,
but to you I was just an eight-year-old's notebook
of anecdotes and psychoanalysis bullshit,
funny and clever but nothing to write home about.

at home is where the fortress lies,
reinforced emotions and sharpened barbed wire teeth
to cut apart the trespassers
that dare to invade...do you remember their eyes? they weren't white
but you still fired anyway.

ripped notes of affections and a bin full of thoughtfulness,
but nothing changes your DNA and the opposing side
is always the one that loses. bigotry runs faster
than logic, and you didn't care where the line was drawn
as long as somebody else was to blame.

boys don't deserve regret
because they'll never learn to earn it,
hidden in your nutshell you never did confound the stereotypes
and discovered common sense was hidden
beneath your chest, beating against the ribbed cage
and struggling to escape it's tormentor.

Wow...I really liked this. From the title to the last line.

My only critique would be:

but nothing changes your DNA and the opposing side

was a mouthful.

but when it's the end of the world
do you think we'll have a reason to live?

what a splendid way to begin a poem!

Wow... definitely my favourite poem of yours since you know i'd sing for you. By the way, we quote that at school and spoof it all the time now that I've done it for that Rhetoric assignment. If somebody asks for a pencil, someone else will say, "You know... I'd lend you a pencil..." and another person will add, "If you asked." or something like that. So yes, you are now famous. Well, sort of.

Okay, so about the poem. I can't really critique this, but I did like the first, second and last stanzas quite a bit. The first really sets you to thinking, and I liked the line about reading someone like a bestseller. The last stanza really evoked some cool images... never really thought of common sense as something struggling to get out, but I guess that's why I like your poetry so much.

Overall, nice work.

That was...good. Kinda confusing at time, but very artistic. The italicized sentences in the beginnings were a great way to start out the poem. Although I once had a (woman) science teacher that was sexist *shifty eyes*.

Pretty. It did seem to have a structure (always nice in poetry). There's just one itty bitty thing that bugged me. This line:

and struggling to escape it's tormentor.

A little typo. It should be:

and struggling to escape its tormentor.

Otherwise, well done.

The end was overdone/melodramatic, yo. Or, something.

Wow... definitely my favourite poem of yours since you know i'd sing for you. By the way, we quote that at school and spoof it all the time now that I've done it for that Rhetoric assignment. If somebody asks for a pencil, someone else will say, "You know... I'd lend you a pencil..." and another person will add, "If you asked." or something like that. So yes, you are now famous. Well, sort of.

Slightly disturbing...

Anyway, thanks everyone for commenting.

Incandescence wrote:The end was overdone/melodramatic, yo. Or, something.

Agreed. Although, I suppose it was fitting because of the way you characterized them as a sort a beast. Great mental image. Other than the last line, I liked it a lot. My favorite part was "do you remember their eyes? they weren't white / but you still fired anyway. " Ooh.