Me: You Suck.
You:??
Me: You suck because I can’t study.
You suck because sometimes I can’t sleep.
You suck because when I see “suck” I think vacuum.
You suck because when you see “suck” you think something else.
You suck because I can’t draw a vacuum.
You suck because you draw that something else all the time.
You suck because now I don’t want to start sentences with you suck.
Du bist scheisse.
Du bist scheisse because you are a high school boy who only wants one thing.
Du bist scheisse because you proved that through a single text message.
Du bist scheisse because I had just thought of giving you another chance.
Du bist scheisse because I want to say Sayonara.
Du bist scheisse because I continue to construct justification for you.
Du bist scheisse because I stuff my face with Smores Pop Tarts and Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
Du bist scheisse because your stupid smolder keeps me from saying anything else.
Du bist scheisse because I will never show you this.
Du bist scheisse because I’ve spent several Saturdays sulking.
Du bist scheisse because this started in seventh grade.
Du bist scheisse because you liked me and loved her.
Du bist scheisse because it hurt me.
Du bist scheisse because you made me smile.
Du bist scheisse because you laughed at my jokes.
Du bist scheisse because I was over you.
Du bist scheisse because this is starting to sound like a Taylor Swift song.
Du bist scheisse because you’re not the same kid who sat in front of me in eighth grade.
Du bist scheisse because you keep a good swing beat on the drum set.
Du bist scheisse because Kruger calls you that stupid nickname.
Du bist scheisse because I let something stupid like that bother me.
Du bist scheisse because my swearing vocab is too limited to come up with anything stronger.
Du bist scheisse because I want to like someone else.
Du bist scheisse because I don’t want to.
Du bist scheisse because we’re too different.
Du bist scheisse because “there won’t be snow in Africa this Christmas” will always remind me of you.
Du bist scheisse because you say never mind (and it’s TWO words, not one).
Du bist scheisse because it just feels good to say
Du bist scheisse.
