Innocent Words

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Spoiler
Meh, won't let me delete it *pouts* :( OK, sorry to those people who commented but since I can't delete, I'll just change it, doubt you can delete your comments but if you want to edit them then it's fine by me.


Innocent words, prickling skin.
"That's a nice hat! They don't usually suit people with frizzy hair."
Sweet as honey, stab in the back.
"Wow, I love your new top! I didn't realise they were sold in extra large."
Fluttering eyelashes, fingers crossed.
"Your boyfriend's hot! Shame, you don't make a very good couple."
Pleading eyes, foot to help you fall.
"Have you died your hair? It's a lovely shade, too bad it looks fake, mine's natural."
Linked arms, slap in the face.
"You're going camping? How sweet! I'm going to stay at an all inclusive, five star hotel abroad. It's not fair that your family is so poor."

Burning rage, boiling fury.
"You know what. You're a bitch."
Last edited by tinkembell on Sun Feb 06, 2011 3:43 pm, edited 4 times in total.
"The rabbit always squeals in the jaws of the fox, but when has another rabbit ever rushed up to save it?" Damon Salvatore
;'( please, my lump, he just needs HUGS <3
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Just keep writing, just keep writing, do-do-do-do-do




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Wow, wonderful emotion. I loved this poem - I think it was really great. Awesome job!!

Keep writing,
Alzora
"Just remember there's a difference between stalking people on the internet, and going to their house and cutting their skin off." - Jenna Marbles

~ Yeah I'm letting go of what I had, yeah I'm living now and living loud ~




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Innocent words, prickling skin.
"That's a nice hat! They don't usually suit people with frizzy hair."
Sweet as honey, stab in the back.
"Wow, I love your new top! I didn't realise they sold in extra large.I didn't realise they were sold in extra large. This would be more appropriate"
Fluttering eyelashes, fingers crossed.
"Your boyfriends hot! Shame, you don't make a very good couple."
Pleading eyes, foot to help your fall.Couldn't quite it. Was it "foot to help you fall"?
"Have you died your hair? It's a lovely shade, too bad it looks fake, mine's natural."
Linked arms, slap in the face.
"You're going camping? How sweet! I'm going to stay at an all inclusive, five star hotel, abroad. It's not fair that your family is so poor."

Burning rage, boiling fury.
"You know what. You're a bitch."Favorite line. XD


I love it. I think this is the exact thing happening when two girls talk.:D Why did you make some lines italic? Do you want the readers to emphasize on them?
It was an awesome poem.
Keep up the great work. :D
Last edited by ehte92 on Sun Feb 06, 2011 3:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Are you living for the things you are praying for?




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Well it seems a little angsty, but the fact that it's based off of something real means a lot. And we are "young writers," I suppose, so why not express angst every now and then? I think you did it in a really expressive and artistic way anyway, so it worked out really well.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver
Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another. ~Lemony Snicket



This looks like a really bad episode of Green Acres.
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