Looker

Standing from afar, looking in a bar.
She is turned and I cannot earn a glance.
I do not even have a chance.
If I did, it would be in a place far from here, where they make stars into beer.
Not on Earth gazing at the stars all alone.
Why do I feel so alone?
Only the wind has to the time to spend and answer.
(I am not alone and the wind would moan. I am not alone and the wind would moan.)
I watch lovely dancers and I find that girl, and remember the wind’s answer.
In my dreams I am not alone, I am with her all the time.
Loving her should not be a crime.
(I am not alone and the wind would moan)

Hey!

I remember reviewing this the first time around months and months ago!!!! :L

Let me just say now it is in the Lyric catergory and shortened it makes a lot more sence and flows a lot better now bits seem to have been tweaked!

It's obvious you have talent, but must be exploited more!

Keep it up,
PM me for anything!

~Retro Disco666

I really like this, but it's so short! It says these are lyrics but I feel more like it's a poem, although I'm sure you have a tune etc for it. Could you make it a bit longer, maybe go into a bit more depth about who this girl is and how you feel about her?
Other than that, great job!

This is nice. I think it would be better off as a poem, as it's short and poetic. It would make a beautiful poem with some editing Either way, I like it!