Not really my style but it's very well written! No spelling or grammatical mistakes that I could catch. Your MC reminds me of a friend of mine(a lot!) and so I was able to connect to it. Taking bottles of dye and doing her own hair was totally something she would do lol. Not having read any other chapters, I don't have much to comment about but I will say Iam slightly curious to find out more about Luke and the Shadow Room. Other than that your dialogue is good and your descriptions of the old house were great! I love the line about the house wheezing it's last wheeze
Good writing, keep it up! ~day
"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere." ~courtesy of one of history's funniest men, Groucho Marx. ^_^
