Take your Hands

This is a poem I wrote like 10 minutes ago on a whim. I have all these points and nothing to post, so here it goes.....
Feel free to rip this apart.

Let me take your hands
And free you from all demands
Let me take your lips
And seal our love with a beautiful kiss

Cloak me with your endless love
In the dead of night with the stars above
Let me see inside your soul
I want to hug until we grow old

Let this moment never be silenced
Let us shout out our love in defiance
Make my eyes only see you
And in the end, let it only be us two

I am SweetMoments and I am going to reveiw your work.

Let me take your hands Nice opening line
And free you from all demands
Let me take your lips
And seal our love with a beautiful kiss Nice stanza

Cloak me with your endless love
In the dead of night with the stars above
Let me see inside your soul
I want to hug until we grow old Hug? I don't now it seems less passionate compared with what you have said in the stanza

Let this moment never be silenced
Let us shout out our love in defiance Okay defiance doesn't make sense here, Let us shout of our love in defiance that means that you are going againest something and you have expressed here that they want to be in love?
Make my eyes only see you
And in the end, let it only be us two I think the ending could be a bit stronger

Overall:
This is a very nice poem only a couple of things you could improve on.

-Sweet♥

As if you wrote this in ten minutes, it's awsome!!
Just a few little tweaks...

"Let me take your hands
And free you from all demands
Let me take your lips
And seal our love with a beautiful kiss"
This stanza is SO good!!
One of the best.
"Cloak me with your endless love
In the dead of night with the stars above
Let me see inside your soul
I want to hug until we grow old"
The last line could be made a bit, not saying it's bad, just could be better.
That's all.
"Let this moment never be silenced
Let us shout out our love in defiance
Make my eyes only see you
And in the end, let it only be us two"
You could change it to this:
"Let this moment never be silenced
Let us shout our love in defiance
Make my eyes see only you
And in the end, let it just be us two"
Saying "only" that close together is a bit distracting.
Anyway, good poem, and sorry if i mucked it up.

You did a wonderful job with this! Love how you made it rhyme, but at times it felt like too many words just for the rhyme. There's nothing wrong with that! Beautiful!

My only nit-pick is the grammar. You have one comma. You need more!!! Other than that this poem is really awesome!!! I love it

Keep writing,
Alzora

Wow, this was great! I loved the ideas you put into it, and I thought that it was just the right length; not too long or short. Maybe a little more punctuation, and it's perfect!