Hey! Good job. loved the title, and the general idea of the poem. About your flow: It seemed very choppy, the way you structured it. It felt a bit more like a story than a poem. Also, the amount of emotions and thoughts that you packed into it made it feel a little heavy, you know what I mean? But I don't really mind it. You had some great metaphors going on though, and the imagery was excellent. So yeah. Well done!
