Viral Hobos

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A ring rose from sleepers who
lurked in the lobes of the
storehouse of starches -- like hungry hobos,
they hitched a ride on a one-way train of
motion. And they hid themselves
from the mainstream's harsh inspection.

But hobos gone viral can't linger for long. There's
crowding and a call to keep moving on. So they do, and
they're back in the stream once again,
and they grow up a little,
lyse a few homes,
board the next vector,
and meet someone special
in the dark, droning bellies of hovering trains.

And the cycle begins all over again.

---

I could've sworn I posted this a while ago, but apparently not since I found it in my drafts...

And the moral of the story is: Parasitology does weird things to my brain. Points to whoever figures out what this poem is about. Double points for whoever pinpoints the exact species.
Last edited by Kale on Wed Jan 26, 2011 6:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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A ring rose from sleepers
who lurked in the lobes
of the storehouse of starches --
like hungry hobos.
They hitched a ride on a one-way train of motion,
they hid themselves from
the mainstream's harsh inspection.

But hobos gone viral can't linger for long.
There's crowding and a call to keep moving on.
So, they do
and they're back in the stream once again
and they grow up a little,
lyse a few homes, Lyse? What word is that?
board the next vector,
and meet someone special in the dark,
droning bellies of hovering trains.

And the cycle begins all over again.


Interesting poem, it was quite good even though I've no idea what it was supposed to be about. It seemed maybe to be about hobos, but also maybe something else.

Keep writing,
Alzora
"Just remember there's a difference between stalking people on the internet, and going to their house and cutting their skin off." - Jenna Marbles

~ Yeah I'm letting go of what I had, yeah I'm living now and living loud ~




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Is it a ring worm? I read this a few times over and I'm thinking this is about a ring worm. Also, you said parasitology, and that means parasites, and a ring worm is a parasite, and pretty narly one at that. But it seems to be about a ring worm starting out as a ring on the body (hence the "rose ring") that someone got from maybe eating the wrong foods (hence the "storehouse starches")? Also, the part about hiding from the "mainstream's harsh inspection" made me think of that as well, being that nobody likes ring worms. The end is a little tricky for ring worms, but I think it still matches. The mention of trains makes me think of the cardiovascular system, the network of blood vessels and such. I don't know. If I'm right, let me know! I still think I may be wrong though. Also, sweet poem.
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As the others said, I haven't a clue what this is about, but it sounds great still. This will sound completely weird, but this poem reminds me of Cory Doctorow's work, if he were a poet.

I think the problem with this poem is that you're clinging too tightly to your idea at the expense of your message. Upon second reading, I saw a pattern emerging of hobos being the antithesis of mainstream, and nonconformity, but it took 2 1/2 readings to get that. Parasitism, not so much.
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