Another Day of Snow

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The mournful song of doves hangs in the air
As you wander through the trees,
With nothing but the sound
Of their lament.
You don't know how long you've lingered there;
Emptiness has brought you to your knees,
And all the strength you found
Is spent.
Life and death and sorrow caught you unaware;
The only way to find yourself and to appease
This fate, is to kneel upon the ground,
And repent.

There is something missing, something wrong;
You feel it in the darkness of your heart;
Aching somewhere deep and far away,
You know.
There was a time when you were strong,
But piece by piece, you slowly fell apart;
Now all your words are but to say:
I must go.
And so you wander to the mournful song,
Not knowing where to start;
Silent through another day
Of snow.
You must be swift as the coursing river,
With all the force of a great typhoon,
With all the strength of a raging fire,
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon.




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Good poem. There seems to be many of these Gothic-like dark poems popping up more and more with things like Twilight becoming the "in" thing. I can feel the despair the narrator is feeling, and I like to see this kind of style being used. Pretty good wording, and good descriptive language.

Nice poem.
"If you ever have a problem don't say 'Hey God I have a big problem.' Rather 'Hey Problem... I have a big God and it's all going to be okay."




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Like shiney said this is a very commonly used theme but i loved the way you worded your poem and the way that you used your layout, it i made it seem very organised :)

Keep Writing!
A hero isn’t defined by winning. Loads of heroes die in the effort. Most of them never get any recognition. No, a hero is just somebody who does the right thing when it would be far, far easier to do nothing.


~Previously SweetMoments




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Halllllooooooooo there! This is a great poem... I'd write more, but I'm out of time!
You have been adressed by the Lady of the Dragons, lol




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Very nice, it's got a "good" (maybe effective is better?) sense of loneliness and sorrow.
The layout is lovely and makes the piece more eye catch, as well as show dedication to your writing.
Your opening line, I feel, is effective catching me and drawing me into the piece, the call for penitence and general empty vide create a strong Gothic feeling.

My only criticism would be that in trying to stick to your layout and stanza structure you have perhaps negatively impacted some of your lines, but possibly not.

Keep writing, you've got talent.
Once there was a city, in that city was a song, a pretty little ditty, that kept the people strong

The song was always playing, the music never stopped, upon this ancient two step, their whole world was propped

One day, the music ended, nobody new why, the next part was simple, the city had to die



The world is your oyster. Well, it’s my oyster, but you can have some of it.
— Feltrix