Time

Hi there GummyBearEater,
I quite enjoyed your poem, gets very deep into the essence, of time.
"Endings will not make it end,Death would never make it bend,
Unhappy thoughts would go away,
Joy and endless time will stay."
I fell very deep into this part of the poem, even in the long life of time nor the unhappy thoughts will still but in endless time the joy of yourself will stay within. I quite enjoyed your poem looking forward to see me =D

man....
i really did not think it would be that good....
thanks for all your comments..
i hope i'll be a better poet someday....
all because of your comments!
thanks people.... from the small heart of this vampire...

Hey first of all I really like your poem. I also think that how you included that persons name was really awesome and creative. Another thing, your poem seemed like it has a philosophical feel behind it which I liked. I dont know if that was the intention but thats what I gained from reading it

Cheers
FROMNZ

Really good. Keep on writing!
You have talent...

It's rare for me to like a rhyming poem but for you I think you managed to tickled my fancy with this little ditty, sure it's not deep or thought provoking but apart from some minor problems, I see a great poem. Now let begin I'm LastPaladin and I shall be your reviewer.

Okay we'll begin with the problems as I've far more positive to say than negative. Okay off the bat rhyme works fairly well except for this line right here:

Not an easy thing to learn

I don't know, this seems to fit badly with the scheme, so my suggestion is reword or rework it so the rhyme fits a bit better.

On to postive. I admit here and now most of the time when I see rhyming poetry on here, I feel it sounds too sing-songy and less serious, this is especially evident when trying to capture depression or angst with rhyme, it tends to sound utterly horrific. Yours is a rare case though. I actually feel you managed to combine the rhyme and the theme together very well, except for up above, but that's minor.

Overall: This is a pretty solid piece, fairly simplistic, but not so much it's insulting and manages to show rhyming can be done well in poems, without coming across as annoying.

Hope this helps.