A poem about you.

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chynelk5
Gender Female
Points 1081
Reviews 17
Tue Nov 02, 2010 5:52 pm
chynelk5 says... · Tue Nov 02, 2010 5:52 pm
A smile.
Not a grin, but enough for me to smile back.

A greeting.
Not the warmest, but at least it made me feel noticed.

A small trinket.
Not much, but it meant so much to me.

A kiss.
Not very long, but it still caused my heart to swell.

A promise.
Not alot, but it shakes off all the fears.

A death.
Not much, but it broke me.
"I never said I'd lie and wait forever.
If I died we'd be together.
I cant always just forget her.
But she could try."
The ghost of you- MCR <3
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Khepri
Gender Female
Points 1249
Reviews 9
Tue Nov 02, 2010 6:54 pm
Khepri says... · Tue Nov 02, 2010 6:54 pm
So sad...I love this poem. It's sweet, but tragic. I have two things - one, "a lot" is two words. Second, and maybe this is just me being picky, but I would change "a small trinket" to just 'a trinket'. That line stands out to me because all your other lines have just two words, "a smile, a greeting, a promise," etc. A trinket is generally something small, so you don't really need to include "small".
Other than that, it's lovely. :)
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mlowe16
Gender None specified
Points 1063
Reviews 1
Tue Nov 02, 2010 7:33 pm
mlowe16 says... · Tue Nov 02, 2010 7:33 pm
Beautiful. It has feeling. I love it.
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3 posts


For in everything it is no easy task to find the middle ... anyone can get angry—that is easy—or give or spend money; but to do this to the right person, to the right extent, at the right time, with the right motive, and in the right way, that is not for everyone, nor is it easy; wherefore goodness is both rare and laudable and noble.
— Aristotle