Forever and Always

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HostofHorus
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Mon Oct 18, 2010 3:48 am
HostofHorus says... · Mon Oct 18, 2010 3:48 am
Sappy? Maybe, probably... But it is my promise, and the article I live by, even if it is simple. But, is it? Comments are much appreciated.
Forever and Always

Forever and Always, what does it mean to me?

It means just that, that I will love you forever and always.

It means I will fight for you, die for you, and never live without you.
It means you are the one and only girl on this earth that means anything to me.

I'm here for you, to love and adore you, to wipe wipe away your tears,
To answer your questions, and dispel your deepest fears.

By my life or death, I will be here for you, in flesh or spirit, I will not abandon you.
If ever you find yourself in need of help, know I'm here.
Here to help you, to comfort you, to assist you, and protect.
I am here for anything you can imagine, all you need to do is ask.

I have but one thing to ask,
Know this Alyssa, I will be here,
Forever
And Always
HostofHorus Author, Poet, Dreamer, and Expressionist.
http://JRSStories.com
Stories Poems © As of January 1st 2014

Need a review? Feel free to ask me! :)
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Snoink
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Mon Oct 18, 2010 3:58 am
Snoink says... · Mon Oct 18, 2010 3:58 am
Hi J.R.S.!

Yes, it's sappy, but who doesn't love a sappy poem?

Look at this:

Forever and Always, what does it mean to me?

It means just that, that I will love you forever and always.

It means I will fight for you, die for you, and never live without you.
It means you are the one and only girl on this earth that means anything to me.


This seems to be set up kind of like an essay, in a way. So, you ask a question and then seek to answer it. I would probably get rid of the question, or set it up without the "to me" part, which is kind of redundant anyway.

Also, this part:

I have but one thing to ask,
Know this Alyssa, I will be here,
Forever
And Always


You say you have one thing to ask but... well... you never ask it. So, ask the question, darn it! Right now, it looks like you just stuck that line in there because you thought it sounded cool, but it's really quite awkward and strange!

In any case, Alyssa would probably go bonkers over this. Because hey, everybody loves to be loved!
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
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Calligraphy
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Tue Oct 19, 2010 2:19 am
Calligraphy says... · Tue Oct 19, 2010 2:19 am
I agree with everything Snoink said. She stole my whole review!
J.R.S wrote:It means I will fight for you, die for you, and never live without you.

As for content, yes this sounds good, but can you really promise that last bit about never living without her?

A. S.
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