On the Clothesline

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Thanks for reading! :)



Rippling, buffeting,
billowing sheets of memories,
white as white can be,
hung with mother’s voice, and father’s
vanilla cigarette scents
melting together into my nose,
a smell of home and summer
of outside and clean laundry,
whistled songs and spontaneous skips
through that lush green grass.

We used to sing and laugh,
laundry becoming less of a chore
and more of a family event
when we all talked
and played with the wooden clothesline
hangers,
suddenly ducks for the little ones,
or means of pinches and tickles for the not-as-little-ones.

The clothesline used to take up the
whole distance
from the trees to the house,
and I used to run with my hands
stretched upwards,
dodging between the sheets,
pure and blinding in their white,
when everyone used to chase me
with giggles and hair
billowing out behind them
like the clothes in the wind.

So many memories
taken from the scent of bleach and
Tide detergent,
so many nostalgias
of suns reflected off of soft white blankets
turning and churning
and seeming to dance in the light with the wind.

So many memories of the
clothesline, and its pure inhabitants,
slowly forgotten,
as we leave the blue skies
and white cloths
to put them in the drier.
Spoiler
Written with a prompt- I like it personally, but the end just feels abrupt, and I can't decide if that's a good thing or not. Thoughts?




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I like the feel of the poem, a nostalgic sadness. It's something people can relate to, the almost family event of chatting while clothes are being hung outside. I'm not really in the mood for nit-picking (and to be honest there isn't really much I have a problem with) so I'll leave it to someone else this time.

The last line though, is just a little abrupt. It's like the person is daydreaming and going through all these memories and then BAM! someone slams a door, the dream is finished. Maybe you should leave the last line hanging instead, or say something about leaving the happiness and camaraderie of the hanging clothes event to return inside, where everyone lives their own solitary life.

Anyway, I hope I helped! :)

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This is very beautiful. The words you used set the scene wonderfully. I could easily picture the images as I read.
The ending was sudden, but I liked it. It left more of an impact that it would otherwise. It's like you reminding us of something good that happened, and now it's not the same.
All in all, it's a great piece of work. I hope you continue to write poetry.

~Crazy
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When she transformed into a butterfly, the caterpillars spoke not of her beauty, but of her weirdness. They wanted her to change back into what she always had been. But she had wings.
— Dean Jackson