Sister

Sister you're leaving me?
Sister you're going?
Why?
So you say that it feels right?
Well it doesn't feel right to me.
I'm sorry to say,
Don't go.
I'll miss you.
I love you.
Sister you're leaving me?
Sister you're going?

Alright, but come back soon.

I really like this poem! It hits home with me because my older step sister moved out about a year ago to live with her dad. I say try and put some more emotion into it, other rhen that keep up the great work!

Wow, this struck a cord with me, I was kicked out of home about 18 months ago leaving behind my younger brother and sister both believing that I would infact

Come back soon

but I've never moved back. You could add more emotion but I actually like the way it's written it's simplistic style is effective and you've brought my attention to the way my siblings would have felt.

RhaniGrace wrote:Wow, this struck a cord with me, I was kicked out of home about 18 months ago leaving behind my younger brother and sister both believing that I would infact

Come back soon

but I've never moved back. You could add more emotion but I actually like the way it's written it's simplistic style is effective and you've brought my attention to the way my siblings would have felt.

The thing is, is that this is actually written about someone who is like an older sister to me. She' s really depressed, and she's going to be off facebook, texting, dA, etc. for the next three months. And I want her to come back. I'm really going to miss her.

This is simple but heartfelt and I can relate to it. When I was quite young my brother moved away and I really wanted to ask how he could leave me at home to deal with everything. The last line 'come back soon' is sweet as we always hold a place in our hearts for people that seem to be abandoning us- we still want them to come back when they can. Good job
Jaz