Ashes Can Cast a Spell on Me

I just saw a firefly,
With long, golden hair.
It gave me a small wave,
And cast a spell upon my chair.

So when it started to fly away,
I came too.
And up into the starry night,
We flew and flew and flew.

We rose above the chimney stacks,
And high above the trees.
Up farther than the clouds,
I could even see the seas.

But even then,
We did not stop,
And if we didn't soon,
I knew the top,
Would be upon us fast,
And then we'd be straight to the moon.

Farther and farther and farther we soared,
Yet we never hit a wall.
Instead the firefly's light went out,
And we began to fall.

Past the seas and chimney stacks,
Past the trees and clouds.
Everything was coming back,
The sounds became so loud.

Here it comes,
My death was near,
But it never seemed to be.
For I had just,
Dreamed it all,
'Cause ashes can cast a spell on me.

Wow, first is first. Congrats on making this the almost best piece of work I've read. This had so much imagery, I felt like I was there in your dream. Now for the body of the whole work,

iheartbooks wrote:I just saw a firefly,
With long, golden hair.
It gave me a small wave,
And cast a spell upon my chair.

So when it started to fly away,
I came too.
And up into the starry night,
We flew and flew and flew.

We rose above the chimney stacks,
And high above the trees.
Up farther than the clouds,
I could even see the seas. (My favorite stanza, (: I loved it.)

But even then,
We did not stop,
And if we didn't soon,
I knew the top,
Would be upon us fast,
And then we'd be straight to the moon.

Farther and farther and farther we soared, (This reminded me of the first stanza, which was good just don't try to repeat the words like farther and farther and farther & flew and flew and flew. It kinds of breaks the flow of it.)
Yet we never hit a wall.
Instead the firefly's light went out,
And we began to fall.

Past the seas and chimney stacks,
Past the trees and clouds.
Everything was coming back,
The sounds became so loud.

Here it comes,
My death was near,
But it never seemed to be.
For I had just,
Dreamed it all,
'Cause ashes can cast a spell on me.

Overall I think it was great, keep up the good work!

Hi! I thought that was really creative and cute. I can just imagine it in a children's book or something like that .
So, to get grammar out of the way:

I knew the top,
Would be upon us fast,
And then we'd be straight to the moon.

There doesn't need to be a comma after "top". Also, the last line here is the only one I thought stuck out a little from the rest of the poem. It just seems too long and "we'd be straight to the moon" doesn't completely make sense. I think changing either the "we'd" to "it'd" or "straight" to something like "near" would work better.

For I had just,
Dreamed it all,

Same thing here - no comma after "just".

We rose above the chimney stacks,
And high above the trees.
Up farther than the clouds,
I could even see the seas.

When I read this stanza was when I started to smile. I like the rhyming and overall rhythm of this poem because it flows so well. In my head, I read the last line here with an exclaimation mark because it just fit there so maybe you could change that if you want to.

I also really like how the poem's a dream. In stories, I think dreams are a little cliched, but I've rarely seen them used so well in poems. So, amazing work and don't stop writing!

OMG that was incredibly BEAUTIFUL!!!!!! I stink at poems but I love reading them. Love it how it tells the story and how you described several things and how beautiful it was

Well, I like this poem a lot, just go a feww suggestions...

So when it started to fly away,
I came too. << To me, this line is too short, doesn't fit with the rest of the lines, try something like, "and with it I came too." or something else...
And up into the starry night,
We flew and flew and flew.

Farther and farther and farther we soared, << two "farther"s is enough, three is why to much, take out one of the farthers and this stanza is great...
Yet we never hit a wall.
Instead the firefly's light went out,
And we began to fall.

Thats about it... Maybe look over the last stanza, change it up a bit, it has long lines and short lines with mess up the flow...

Hope this helps,

~Rain~