The Aztec

So last year we had to write a poem about something we learned in social with a rhyming scheme of ABCB, and I chose to write mine about the Aztec. I guess I want to know what everyone thinks, although you have to know at least a little background information about the Aztec to understand a lot of it. By the way, near the end when I mention a curse, I'm talking about the Spanish Flu. Or whatever it was called.

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Wow. It leaves that echo feeling after I read it. I feel like your really an Aztec telling your story. I'm too Shell-shocked to say many bad things...

Wow, this poem is excellent! I am extremely impressed! You turned an ordinary history assignment into an accomplished piece of writing. I especially liked how the poem made me feel in the end. You did a very good job making it feel like an actual Aztec was writing the poem. Keep on writing, you have a talent!

~Lindsay

Hi there! SporkPunk here to review!

This was really good. I like how you turned a mundane assignment into something great. You make the rhyme schem work, and the flow was quite good. I liked it.

Breaking through the mourning silence,
Our city walls holding our bodies like a tomb.

This was my favorite part. It had almost a haunting quality to it. You're quite talented!

I'm sorry I haven't found anything extremely negative to write about it, but this was good.

Keep Writing,

Sporky

Yay, the Aztecs! Very interesting peoples!

A couple of things...

I wouldn't use "tiger" since that's not indigenous to that area. Maybe panther or leopard or something else? Also, I think it would be super cool if you could somehow mention the eagle and the snake. After all, that's essentially when the chosen people became the chosen people.

Also! Yeah, the cities did have walls, but one of the coolest parts about the Aztecs was that they made their city from a LAKE. And they would create landfills and canals and everything... it was awesome! So when they started dying, it was a floating tomb of sorts, lol. Which! I think would be really cool imagery, if you can use that somehow.

And... the Aztecs did have swords. More precisely, they had swords which were made out of Obsidian, which is way sharper than steel (although admittedly more brittle). So that's not that bad. And, the Aztecs did bring the Spaniards in to their fortress so that they could surround them and then kill them, lol. The Aztecs weren't completely stupid.

...and yes, I've researched this too much. XD

Nice poem for school.

Hey Disturbed Disorder. I like poems and stories about the ancient civilazations (If that's spelled wrong, sorry. The spell check button is still missing for me.)

DisturbedDisorder wrote:So last year we had to write a poem about something we learned in social

I wish they'd let us do that sometimes. Anyway, about the poem, I liked it. I hope you write more later.