Purple - Chapter 2, Part 3

2 posts
User avatar
Carlito
Gender Female
Points 33076
Reviews 1167
Wed Sep 15, 2010 2:13 am
Carlito says... · Wed Sep 15, 2010 2:13 am
-deleted0
Last edited by Carlito on Sat May 28, 2011 3:06 am, edited 1 time in total.
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.

Ask a Therapist!
I want to beta read your novel!

Ask me anything. Talk to me about anything. Seriously. My PM box is always open <3
Quote




User avatar
Shearwater
Gender Female
Points 44887
Reviews 816
Sun Sep 26, 2010 3:32 am
Shearwater says... · Sun Sep 26, 2010 3:32 am
Hey Carlito!
I've been wanting to review the rest of this but kept pushing it back, sorry. But I was thinking for something to review and just remembered that I still had to do yours, so yay! I'm here :)

So I'm not going to go through with the whole nitpicks and all and just give you my basic thoughts on this as a whole chapter. First of all, the fact that this is based on real events is super exciting. It's like I'm reading a gossip novel or something, or even someone's diary. It's cute and I like the way you describe her emotions. I know I've said that before but I seriously mean it :)
And! because this is based on real people and real events I feel like I can't exactly get deep within the character's thoughts. See, when it's all fictional, I feel like I can tell people the flaws and the little things that don't make sense within the characters themselves but when you say they're based on real events it's like, okay. That's it. Haha.
So, anyways, back to the story...
I guess that would have been a good opportunity for me to ask what both of their numbers were. But I’m stupid, and didn’t.

LOL, oh my lord, I do this too!

Also, have I told how much I love how the MC over analyzes things? I find that to be a remarkably cute trait for some reason. One thing I'd like to mention, on a good note, is how much I adore how you connect with the readers. Everything moves a slow pace but she's making progress and we're here, just watching and rooting for her and I'm seriously hoping she gets what she wants.
I mean, I’m a senior and he’s a sophomore. If something is going to happen, it has to happen kind of soon.

So she's older than him? I didn't know that, I thought they were in the same grade XD Oh well :D

Anyways, overall, nice chapter. I love the progress in here, it's coming together quite well and everything is making sense. I don't have much else to add to this either so I'll stop here for now. I know this review was quite unhelpful but eh. I'll make sure to make it up in the next one, dear :)
Till then,

~Pink
There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
-W. Somerset Maugham
Quote

2 posts


I sleep with reckless abandon!
— Link Neal