Hate

Hate

It fills my insides,
Turning me black.

Stone cold,
My heart has ceased to pump.

Like a poison,
It bleeds through my veins.

My breath is ice,
Chilling my words.

I’ve held it in too long,
Can’t let go.

Once I do,
I will thaw.

Melting at their feet,
That’s what they want.

I won’t let them have it;
I’ll keep hanging on,

Until the blackness
Covers me whole.

This is a really beautiful poem, even though it's about an ugly topic.
I love the images you use. The thing I would suggest is that these verses:

I’ve held it in too long,
Can’t let go.

and

I won’t let them have it;
I’ll keep hanging on,

don't quite seem to fit with the rest of the poem. I think it's because every other verse has some imagery about ice or blackness, and these ones are just statements.
Also:

Once I do,
I will thaw.

This verse is a bit short and it interrupted the flow for me when I read it.

That's all, I loved this!

-pigeon

Thank you

Hi,

I like the imagery that you used in this stanzas:

It fills my insides,
Turning me black.

Like a poison,
It bleeds through my veins.

My breath is ice,
Chilling my words.

Also I don't really like the last three stanzas of the poem, I think they ruin the flow of the poem.

Melting at their feet,
That’s what they want.

I won’t let them have it;
I’ll keep hanging on,

Until the blackness
Covers me whole.

Overall I think is a good poem but if you were to use more description the poem would've been much better.

Thank you.