Poetic exercise-- French painters

The emphasis is on sound, so you should use my pronunciation guide, and read the piece out loud. Renior= Ren-wah; Manet= Mah-nay; Monet= Moe-nay; Courbet= Core-bay; Cassatt: Cah-saw-t; Seine=Senn; Cezanne= Say-zan; Morisot= Mohr-ee-so; Degas= Day-gah
_____________________________________________

Cassatt.
Cassatt, Cassatt.
Renoir.
Cassatt. Ca-
satt.
Ren-
oir.
Cassatt!
Renoir.
CassattCassatt!!
Renoir.
CassattCassattCassatt!!!

Monet.
Monet, Manet.
Mon,Man
Mo-,Ma-
MoMa
Museum of Modern--

Art is in the eye of the beholder
Would Manet be Manet
had he not had Courbet?

Cezanne on the Seine
meets
Mori
sot
So long
Monet
Nay, De
gas
All your dancers have fallen to the floor
No Mor
isot

Whatever.....

I think, Boni, that you failed to take geography into account. And a single sentence does not a review make. So please don't waste my time unless you actually have something to address.

Well. That was...different. I liked it. I like the rhythm more or less and the name Cassatt makes me think of maracas - the sound they make, you know? Anwyays. I know the painters from Art History. That made me feel good No real critique here though, sorry.

well, i have to agree with boni bee, but since you want more, i'll tell you why. i guess i dont really have the authority
to review this since im 13 and youre 20, but im gonna anyway.
it was original, but i dont think it had enough voice, ya know? since most of the poem was painters names chopped up, how is it yours? it was unique the way you arranged the syllables, but still, i think it would be alot more powerful if you put yourself in the poem and maybe added some imagery. sorry to be so cynical, regularly i am not a cynical person at all, but i didnt really understand this poem. maybe im not mature enough to get it, but anyway, thats my opinion on it.

First of all, RiverGirl, never think you don't have the authority to critique something just because you're younger! We're all a community here.

A.O. - I love this piece!! It really made me smile. I've done pieces like this before where you just play with sounds and words - it's quite fun, and you have a talent for it, I think. This was an amusing piece and I really enjoyed it. Perhaps if you added a little more variety, though? Not sure how you'd do that.

Anyway, great job.

thanx crysi