Nice. However, I don't understand the ending. Does the boy get in a fight? Is life beating him down? Please explain. The burning bush metaphor is quite good.
"Artichoke -
O heart weighed down by so many wings."
- Joseph Hutchison
I liked the images and how it all flowed together, I just don't feel like it ever really connected to the reader and started to make sense. It feels like there's a piece missing, almost, a vital piece that would make it all make it all clearer.
The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief. ~William Shakespeare, Othello Boo. SPEW is watching.
“There comes a time, In every man’s life, When he realizes he’s alive.”
It was a hooking beginning and it held me all the way through. I loved the reference to the bush and the whole way that the man tells the boy about how he will bleed once and how he has to live. I also liked how you specified that it was a "man's blood, not a boy's blood". It got your point across about the wound that you are talking about. I agree with you in this poems sense and it is also very well written. Congrats.
Surround yourself with people who are serious about being writers, and who will tell you, ‘Hey—you can do better than this.’ Who will be critical of your work, but also supportive. And who will not be competitive in a negative way. — Isabel Quintero
