Forgive and Forget

I cannot think of a time when I did not hate,
when people only truly thought of others race.
It's sickness to believe people can live in peace,
but I must forgive and forget.

I have to think about the sky and the stars that shine so bright,
and hope that somewhere in the world there is no war.

I pray but it's useless,
people and their abusers, always hate.
But they never hate themselves.

I must forgive and forget,
I have to try to live,
this cannot be a farewell, nor will it ever be.

Even though it seems like the weight of the world is crashing down of me....
I must forgive and forget the ones who hurt me.

It's true! It's what my signature says, after all... where there is true charity, God is present! Unfortunately, God doesn't really seem to exist in this world... we messed it up, lol.

I kind of want you to describe more of the concept of hate and what you've experienced, as far as hate goes, if only so you can go deeper into this poem. I really think it'll be a stronger poem if you do this.

Hey there!so, I really liked this. I just have a few nitpicks, in red:

I cannot think of a time when I did not hate;
when people only truly thought of others' race.
It is sickness to believe people can live in peace,
but I must forgive and forget.

I have to think about the sky and the stars that shine so bright,
and hope that somewhere in the world there is no war.

I pray but it's useless,
people and their abusers- they always hate.
But they never hate themselves.

I must forgive and forget.
I have to try to live.
This cannot be a farewell, nor will it ever be. (I think the punctuation I added here adds dramatic effect. Up to you.)

Even though it seems like the weight of the world is crashing down on me...
I must forgive and forget the ones who hurt me.

This was really raw and emotional. I love your second paragraph. After you make a few little nitpicky changes, this will be awesome. Keep writing!

-Dreamy

I'm LastPaladin and I shall be your reviewer on this, and though you have a good message this came across as more forced and preachy. There was no real emotion, the message was the same 'The world sucks, people suck' and it preached my god it preached so much. And it never got anywhere it went on a bit and came across as more contrived than enlightened. There no real imagery and it doesn't really bring any emotion. And because of this it comes across as naggy, preachy, generic and bland.

Now, what did I like?

I cannot think of a time when I did not hate,
when people only truly thought of others race.
It's sickness to believe people can live in peace,

From here I saw such huge potential, but then you kinda went route of circling it, but never touching it, hinting it, but never really making us feel what it is. Poetry should make us feel, this just keep going round and round and never achieves anything because of this.

It was a noble try, but just try to sound less preachy in future.

Hope this helps.

I liked this poem very much. There i a very strong message in it. you don't say a lot about it and you don't really describe it in depth but even though it is broad it still says a lot about the hate. it lets the readers mind wonder a bit, makes them think about the hate and what the hurt is and in my opinion it makes reading so much better. A good writer lets the reader interpret the poem in different ways. again in my opinion . I really liked it =].

This is really good I love it!! The emotion you put into this really touches the reader.
In the second line of the first stanza though, you might want to change "It's sickness" to "It's a sickness". It just sounds a bit off to me.
I like how you repeat "Forgive and Forget" like the title throughout the piece. You didn't over do it and it sounds nice through the entire piece.
Lastly, your final stanza is truly amazing. It brings a perfect closure to the whole thing, and you did a lovely job expressing you feelings and emotions.

~xXMasterXx

Nice work and bit short, yet nevertheless it was well written.
People do have a tendency to, well to be frank, suck! However, should you be able to forgive them for hurting and/or others then your a bigger man then me!
Emotion was full and true in this.
Great work!
-Dawn

Hey Hey!

I adored this piece, the message is clear and explicit, it's also very true! In the first stanza, there's a bit here and there where I feel your missing some punctuation. Such as something more along the lines of a semi-colon for the 1st line, rather than a comma. I think it'll flow better that way, as well as the impact of your opening hook being better!

I have to think about the sky and the stars that shine so bright,
and hope that somewhere in the world there is no war

Although what you're saying here technically fits the poem quite well, I don't think it works. In my opinion I'd break this up into a quick 4 line stanza or take it out completely. There's a good flow from the first stanza to the stanza regarding prayer so it would still work. The reason is probably down to the imagery jumping to stars, and sure we can empathise with the image and too hope that there is no war somewhere, but in terms of writing it feels to jumpy and the fluency of your piece is disrupted a little bit. Though, this might just be my opinion so it's up to you.

Other than that, I thought you wrote this very well, definitely emotive.
Keep writing,
Ben

Snoink is totally on spot with this, Kit.
You’ve set us up to give us an intelligent ranting poem (ranting in the best meaning of the word) but you don’t really take us there. It starts off angry and resentful and then fades out without that same strength in those emotions. I mean, they’re there but they’re not nearly as powerful.

The only other thing that kind of buggered me about this poem is the structure. The first stanza sounds very collected and composed but then that solid feeling becomes less solid and more of just a loosely constructed poem. The structure needs to be just as tight from beginning to end.

Still, you have a good beginning. Add a little more and it can be great!

Good luck and happy writing!

~lilymoore

This poem is very truthful and straight to the point. That's what this world needs more of these days. I am not going to lecture you about spelling and punctuation because I myself have problems with it I loved your poem!