Choke

I rated this 12+ because I thought that it might be a bit overpowering for some.

Choke on your tongue, swallow your pride.
I’m through with you and all your lies.
All you ever did was let me down.
You act like a queen, but where’s your crown?

Congratulations, Miss Royalty.
You’ve fooled about everyone but me.
I’m not like them, so easily persuaded. (No I’m not!)
There’s no one that I’ve ever hated. (Except for you!)

Choke on your tongue, swallow your pride.
Others can’t see it, but I can see it in your eyes.
All you ever did was disappoint me.
You act like a leader, but where’s your army?

Congratulations, Miss Royalty.
You’ve fooled about everyone but me.
I’m not like them, so easily persuaded. (No I’m not!)
There’s no one that I’ve ever hated. (Except for you!)

Don’t think you’ve won so easily.
It’s not that simple to win over me.
Don’t.
Don’t.

Congratulations, Miss Royalty.
You’ve fooled about everyone but me.
I’m not like them, so easily persuaded. (No I’m not!)
There’s no one that I’ve ever hated. (Except for you!)

Congratulations, Miss Royalty.
You’ve fooled about everyone but me.
I’m not like them, so easily persuaded. (No I’m not!)
There’s no one that I’ve ever hated. (Except for you!)

Choke on your tongue, swallow your pride.

That's it. I hope you like!

Overall, I liked this. I liked the topic because it's not done that often. I've tried to write songs kind of in this topic before and just failed

Munchkinzizzles wrote:You act like a queen, but where’s your crown?

Loved this.

Munchkinzizzles wrote:I’m not like them, so easily persuaded. (No I’m not!)
There’s no one that I’ve ever hated. (Except for you!)

So I'm assuming the parenthesis are like echos right?
I had a hard time hearing these two lines in my head with an echo.

It wasn't super rhymey-rhymey which I liked. It had rhythm and there weren't any places where the rhythm seemed off to me. The only thing is that overall I found it hard to hear in my head. If you can hear it perfectly in yours, awesome.
I sort of heard it as kind of upbeat kind of pop.
Anyway...I liked it overall. Nice job

-Carly

Overall, it was a good song. It sounds almost like it could be a Paramore song, and I like Paramore a lot.

Here are my nitpicks:

Munchkinzizzles wrote:You act like a leader, but where’s your army?

I didn't quite get this line. Maybe you could change it up, but I don't know what you could change it to...

That's it! Otherwise, it was really good!

Hiya! This is Jessica here.

theresnoheroes15 wrote:Overall, it was a good song. It sounds almost like it could be a Paramore song, and I like Paramore a lot.

YAY! It does! That's really cool! Paramore <3 rocks my socks off as you may notice by my avatar : D

Munchkinzizzles wrote:Choke on your tongue, swallow your pride.
I’m through with you and all your lies.
All you ever did was let me down.
You act like a queen, but where’s your crown?

Congratulations, Miss Royalty.
You’ve fooled about everyone but me.
I’m not like them, so easily persuaded. (No I’m not!)
There’s no one that I’ve ever hated. (Except for you!)

I really like these two paragraphs, understanding that the last two lines have echos?

I'm not sure what else to say but I enjoyed it, : D

- Jessica