Cloud and Keke-Renegade children-proposal-part 1

“Okay! I’m sick of this! We’re all going to the beach today! We’ve spent way too long hiding out here!” I cried, finally snapping. This was no way for the kids to grow up. They shouldn’t have to be hiding out here! If my father wanted me, let the bastard come! I could take him! But I wasn’t going to spend the rest of my life hiding, and I wouldn’t let them do that either, they deserved so much better.
“Alice?” Jet asked, taking my arm, which now trembled with rage, and leaning against me.
“What?” I snapped.
“Umm… N-nothing… Sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry, it’s just, this place is getting to me.”
“It’s alright,” He smiled, the fear leaving his eyes.
I had to stop lashing out at my family, soon I would go too far, some of them would get hurt, and I didn’t want anything to happen. The point of me being here was to keep them safe, not to hurt them.
“Then, that only leaves a few things,” I smirked, “Go get ready! We’ll meet back here in ten minutes?” Everyone had gone before I even finished my sentence, laughing and chattering away as they went their separate ways.
“’Kay Alice,” Jared winked. Making me slightly uncomfortable, yet slightly at ease. Jared had scared me so much with his mood swings, but I was curious what he was thinking right now. I assumed it wasn’t good.
Now I had to find something to wear. But what? I had nothing to wear. Funny, because this was my idea.
There was only one way to find out. Go to my room and rip apart all the cupboards. Hopefully, something might pop up.
I followed the plan exactly. I went to my room, ripped everything apart just to find something, made a total mess of my room, but, the last part fell through, I just couldn’t find something to wear.
Keke! She always looked beautiful… Maybe she could help!
I walked sheepishly to her room, hoping she would notice me standing in her doorway, but it was a large store, so she could be anywhere. I just hope no one else saw me. I had never even spoken to her before.
“Keke?”
“Alice? What are you doing here?” She asked, just passing the entrance when I saw her.
“Can you, p-please help me?”
“Yeah, sure, come in. What’s the problem? Clothes?”
“H… How did you know?” I asked, slightly offended at her implication that I had bad clothes.
“Oh, no, I didn’t mean it offensively Alice, I just meant, you’re still in the same clothes with less than five minutes to go. I just thought you might not have had anything to wear to the beach.
“Oh… Um, okay. Yeah,” I blushed.
“It’s alright Alice. Come here,” She gestured for me to follow here.
“Oh… Um, thanks,” My voice raised slightly at the end as she handed me a hanger with a black bag on it.

Hello, my name is Cirque but my Mum named me Alice; so you can choose what name to call me. I feel kind of special as the main characters name is Alice! On an overall, this was a very good read. I truly enjoyed it and though I stumbled over some parts, I still believe that this is very good.

“Alice?” Jet asked, taking my arm, which now trembled with rage, and leaning against me.

This sentence sounds very awkward. It's not the beginning or the middle but the end (bolded words). These, I believe, are just not needed. It really throws off the reader and it made me stutter a couple of times. What I would suggest is that you get rid of it, or just make a new sentence if you really love that last past as I can see no use for it.

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean it offensively Alice, I just meant, you’re still in the same clothes with less than five minutes to go. I just thought you might not have had anything to wear to the beach."

I believe you've forgotten to close the speech marks. Seeming since you haven't made this mistake through the rest of the chapter, I believe this was one-time - a mistake.

“It’s alright,” he smiled, the fear leaving his eyes.

“Then, that only leaves a few things,” I smirked, “Go get ready! We’ll meet back here in ten minutes?” everyone had gone before I even finished my sentence, laughing and chattering away as they went their separate ways.

“Alice? What are you doing here?” she asked, just passing the entrance when I saw her.

“It’s alright Alice. Come here,” she gestured for me to follow here.

“Oh… Um, thanks,” my voice raised slightly at the end as she handed me a hanger with a black bag on it.

This is such a common problem on this site I couldn't be bothered retyping it so often, so don't be offended that I'm just copying and pasting an old paragraph from another review. Sorry, if it does. So the speech grammar of this is wrong. You see, don't worry I also just figured this out, when ever you have an ending to a sentence (past the end quotation mark) the words to come are not a beginning but a continuation. As pointed out in red, the first letter after the speech must be in lower case no matter the quotation mark. Though, this is an exception to those words that must have a capital letter eg. names.

Okay. I'm so confused. Who are these people? Are they her friends? siblings? or something else? And where are they? You're moving too quickly without giving enough background information. Maybe there's another part that I should read first? For now I'll review it as if it was the beginning of a story. After all, your title does say Part 1.

I need more background, so I can understand what's going on. Imagine you're the reader. Then give enough information so that the readers see exactly what you need them to see at that point.

The first paragraph has too many exclamation marks. Using them so much makes them less effective. Try to use them sparingly only when such emphasis is needed.

As you introduce characters, you should explain what their relationship is to the narrator.

“Then, that only leaves a few things,” I smirked, “Go get ready! We’ll meet back here in ten minutes?”

I don't think "smirked" is the word you're looking for.

I can't say much more because I need to know more. You're writing style is interesting and nice, but I can't follow it because I don't understand the story. PM me if you need me to be more clear.