Rated 16+ for Violence and for the use of the f word (once)
So here's chapter 2! The start of it is a little slow, but don't worry, there's a big action scene at the end. Please tell me what you honestly think, I don't mind harsh reviewers.
EDIT: Thank you all for your in-depth reviews! Very helpful!
Edited minor things in the story like Ms. Goa's age and such. I also added a part in Chapter 3 about Ron to give him more depth.
Gave Juliet personality. At least a bit.
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Raven sat alone in the back of the art room. He always sat in the very back of the classroom for all his classes. The teachers had quickly realized that the only way for him not to disrupt the class was to move him as far away from the other students as possible. The end of lunch bell had rung about a minute ago, but no one was in the classroom yet except him. Outside the room, Raven heard the muffled sounds of students walking to class. He listened to them, trying to pick up anything other than white noise. Bits and pieces of a dozen conversations reached his ears, like pieces to a huge puzzle. Fragments such as “Pumpkin pie”, “That blows man” and “Kamehameha!” reached his ears. Raven wondered what conversations the students had that used these words. He was fascinated by how people communicated with each other, since that was still relatively new to him. Being quiet for so long had caused Raven to envy those who could just have a simple conversation.
After all the students finally arrived in class and the bell had rung the art teacher, Ms. Goa started the class. She was the teacher for all the art classes, and had been teaching them for at least 10 years. Raven didn’t know much about her except that she had gone to art school, and flunked out a year later. She loved to post her own artwork around the room, to remind her students “This is what you strive for!” Her ego was only matched by the number of bow ties she owned. Raven would have hated the class except for the fact that art was the only thing he really loved to do.
“Hello students!” Ms. Goa said to the class, beaming. “I’m so glad we decided to be on time today, aren’t you? This gives us so much more time to work on art. Today, we’re going to start a new project…still life!” With this the teacher bounced over to her desk and picked up a painting. It was a painting of a floating telephone. Raven sighed at this. Of all the projects, they had to do still life. If you’re going to try and capture something as ordinary as a phone, why not just take a picture of it?
“For this project, find something inanimate in the classroom, and transfer it onto the page. As you see, my example perfectly shows off the flatness of this type of drawing, and look at that detail! Remember, this is what you strike for!” Ms. Goa finished, and took a slight bow.
Raven took out a sheet of paper and started to sketch the telephone the teacher had used. While he was drawing the number pads, he started to sense that someone was near him. He looked up and saw a girl, standing right next to him, quietly waiting. She was another 11th grader, but Raven had no idea what her name was. Her curly brown hair and freckled-filled face looked familiar, but he couldn’t remember why. Raven was stunned for a second, like a deer caught in a headlight. He had no idea what to do.
“Hi,” the girl said cautiously, as if talking to a strange dog. “Um, I just need that vase, for the project. It’s right next to you on the shelf.” She pointed to the right of him.
“Oh, um…sure,” Raven said turning to face the shelf. Because he was placed in the back of the room, his chair was right in the way of the art shelf. He quickly grabbed the vase and handed it to the girl, who was now looking back at her table.
“Thanks,” she said. She turned to go, but then she noticed Raven’s drawing. “Wow, I didn't know still-life could be that awesome! How’d you make it look so three-dimensional?”
Raven stared at her for a second, and then looked back at his drawing. He tried to think, but his mind came up blank.
“Um, I think it’s because of the…shadows?” he answered, although it sounded like a question.
“Oh, well it’s way better then Ms. Goa's 'perfect art'. You should teach the class, I bet you’d do a better job." she said smiling at him. "Anyway, I’ll see you later.”
Raven smiled back at her as she walked away. It felt weird, to talk to someone other than his father. For the rest of class, all he could think about was the conversation. Even just that simple exchange felt thrilling. He wanted to meet the girl again, to ask her name. To find out all about her. Maybe they could get to know each other and…Raven stopped himself suddenly. What was he thinking? All she did was ask him for a stupid vase, not to marry him! She was probably dared to do it too. “Bet you won’t talk to the freak!” her friend would tell her. Raven forced himself to stop his illusions of grandeur and start drawing his stupid telephone again.
After school, Raven started to walk home. The ground had dried since the rain yesterday, and the leaves were starting to dry up. He looked up and saw a great oak tree. Almost all of its leaves had fallen, unlike most of the other trees. It looked naked next to the all the rest of the oaks. Maybe it was growing old, and this would be its last winter.
Raven thought about the coming winter. He always dreaded that season. It was almost impossible to keep warm during the winter with his wings protruding out of his back. During the other seasons it was manageable. He would just cut a hole through the shirt he wore for his wings to fit in. It made the shirts look strange, but it wasn’t not like Raven didn’t already look like a freak already. When the winter came though, he would have to wear coats with holes in them. No matter how small he tried to cut them, they always let the cold in, freezing his back terribly.
As Raven turned a corner he heard rustling near the forest. He turned to face the noise, expecting to see a squirrel. Instead, he turned to see a student, standing just a few feet away from him. He was muscular and tall, with his eyes fixed upon Raven. They both stood froze for a second, wondering what the other would do. Then, the boy lunged at Raven.
Raven stumbled back from the force of the blow, careening off the path into the forest. His wing scraped against the branch of the tree, causing him to freeze in pain. While he was immobile, the other boy got up and ran towards Raven, fist ready. Raven noticed this at the last possible second, and dodged the boy’s attack. Un-phased, the student went close to Raven and kneed him in the stomach. Raven bent forward, his eyes squinted from the attack. Suddenly, his leg was struck, his knees buckled and Raven fell to the ground. He held his hands up, trying to block the next hit. But they seemed to have stopped.
As he lay there, all he could think was “What was it this time?” Each time he had been attacked, it was always for a reason. Once it was because Raven had scared someone’s sister when she saw him. Another, partially brutal attack was because “God was punishing him”. For what the attackers never mentioned. At first he would try and fight back, but over time he just let them beat him. It was easier that way.
“Hey, you going to get up, or just die there retard?” someone called to him. Raven waited for a moment, but then decided to get it over with. He stood up and faced the attacker. He looked like one of the football players. Raven was surprised to see he was alone. Usually they would come in groups. Unless of course the rest of the team was hiding out, waiting to see if there was going to be any trouble. The boy circled Raven, his hands crossed, a smug smile on his face. Clearly, he was enjoying himself.
“I’m going to make this simple for you, okay? Maybe then your bird brain will be able to handle it,” the boy said. “You are never going to talk to my girlfriend again. And if you do, I’ll kill you.” Raven, confused, tried to think of who his girlfriend was. He had no idea.
“Oh, so you don’t even remember it?” the football player asked, sensing Raven’s confusion. “Your brains even smaller then I thought. Hey Juliet, can you come here for a sec?” he called down the path. The girl from Raven’s art class appeared, head held low. The boy put his arm around her, then turned back to Raven. Suddenly, Raven remembered. The boy in front of him was Ron, a football player. His father was the local catholic pasture, Mr. Anther. Mr. Anther was a spiteful man who preached of conformity. Raven was on the same level to him as gays and Muslims. And his girlfriend was Juliet, the girl he had talked to in art class.
“Remember now?” Ron asked. Raven didn’t move, or speak. This was why he was attacked? Because someone’s girlfriend asked him for a stupid vase?
“Well?!” Ron yelled at him. Raven still didn’t say anything. He could barely believe this was happening. So just because he was the freak meant that everything that happened to him, everything he did, was wrong? Giving someone glassware was now a crime. Raven felt something strange boil up inside him, something that was long buried under his sadness and isolation. Something he hadn’t felt in a long time. Rage.
“Oh, so now you can’t speak?” Ron yelled. “Here, let me try to help you. Cluck cluck! Is that better?!” Raven felt his whole body buzz, and his eyes locked onto Ron’s. Then, as much to Ron’s surprise as his own, he dashed towards Ron and knocked him on the ground. Raven lifted his hand and smashed it onto Ron’s face, relishing the impact he felt. Ron, dazed for a second, got his bearings and threw Raven off of him. By now, the adrenaline rush Raven felt was starting to back down. He suddenly realized what he had done.
“You’re fucking dead!” Ron spat at Raven, wiping the blood of his face. Before Raven could move He grabbed him by the arm, and threw his fist into Raven’s face. Raven felt his nose break, and heard a terrifying “crunch”. Blood immediately started to gush out of it. Then Ron kicked Raven in the side and sent him spiraling down to the ground a second time. But he didn’t stop there. He kicked Raven right in the wings, causing the delicate skin to tear. Raven howled in a pain he had never felt before. His right wing caused a current of pain to run through his brain, obscuring anything other than pure instinct. Raven rolled over, trying to get out of Ron’s attack. But the next thing he knew, Ron’s foot had smashed into his head. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. Raven’s vision turned hazy as he felt himself slip out of reality. He looked up and thought he saw Ron standing over him about to throw another kick at him. His mouth was curved in a terrible smile, like nothing would please him more than to end Raven’s life.
“Wait!” a cry came out. Raven tried to look at who it was, but he couldn’t see at all now. Was he going blind? He tried blinking, but couldn’t seem to. The whole world seemed to be a hazy black now. His brain was somewhere far away, and his body was left defenseless.
“Don’t try…Juliet,” only bits of conversation reached Raven now.
“Blood… stop!” a girl’s voice said, in a ghostly whisper.
Raven lay there, maybe for a moment, maybe for a lifetime, waiting for the next blow. But none came. Maybe he was dead already, being sent to hell. “That’s fine,” Raven thought, his mind oddly at ease. “I don’t mind dying.” Then he fell to nothing.
Oh, and I loved the DBZ reference at the beginning. I'm a little bit of an anime geek so I appreciated it! I'm not sure if some readers will understand it though.
Scared? Hehehe.... I fail.
Even though that sounds rather violent, it's a good thing. The fact that I felt that way showed that you were able to make me feel sorry for Raven and make me care for him. This kind of connects to the thing I mentioned earlier about the plot progressing. I think that you should progress with the plot soon because I already feel connected to your characters, your MC anyway. In case you're unsure, that's definitely a good thing. What I especially liked about Raven in this chapter was the fact that he didn't seem as whiny as he did in the previous chapter. He still looked on the negative side of things, which I actually like, but it didn't make me feel like saying, "Suck it up and get over it." Instead, you just got me angry with that jerk who was fighting with him.
