10 months earlier…
All I can think about is David Gahan. He’s kind of sexy for an old guy, in my humble opinion. Just the other day I was riding in my aunt’s car. We were on our way to her house to watch a movie.
“Adam isn’t going to the Depeche Mode concert,” she had told me.
“Why not?” I asked, starting to get more than a little excited.
“We think you need the ticket more,” she told me, turning up the radio.
I lay in my bed smiling at the memory. Just two more days! I was going to see Dave Gahan in two days! Of course, like all good things in life, my joy was instantly shot down and left to lie in a bloody heap.
There is a knock on my door.
“Almah, can Dad and I see you downstairs?” My mother calls through the door.
I rack my brain for what I might have done this time, but can’t come up with anything good. Crap on a log!
“Yeah, I’ll be right down, mom!” I call back.
I walk into the adjoining bathroom and look in the mirror. Well, if I get busted at least I’ll look good.
I ascend the stairs quietly, and try to look as normal as possible as I sit down on the couch. My father sits in the computer chair, my mother on the cushion next to me. Is it my imagination, or do her eyes look red? Oh no, is she crying because of something I’ve done? I think really hard, but can’t come up with anything!
“Do you know what this is about?” My father asks serenely.
I shake my head no.
We all sit quietly for a few moments.
“I’ve decided to rent a house,” my father says, looking at the floor. “Just for me.”
My head snaps up. “What?” I barely breathe, looking from my dad to my mom. My mom’s eyes start to tear up.
“I didn’t know it would go this far,” I whisper.
My mom lets out a quiet sob.
“Why?” I ask, I can’t understand. They love each other! I knew they weren’t getting along, but all couples don’t sometimes. “For how long?”
“Almah, if your mom and I split up again, it will be for good,” he tells me, barely meeting my gaze.
I stand up. “Grandma and Kirt are out of town for the weekend, I’m going over there.” To my surprise, they don’t argue.
“Is Ingrid over there?” my dad asks. I wish my mom would speak.
“I’m not sure if she’s with Adam or not, they’ve been fighting,” I answer. “I have a key. I’m going to pack my bags.”
I hurry upstairs and throw some things in a bag; shorts, my tie dye nightgown, converse. I riffle through my jewelry box until I find they key, to my relief.
I turn around and find my dad standing in my door way. “Do you want me to drive you?”
“How else am I supposed to get there?” I snap.
“I’ll be in the car then,” he tells me.
I follow him out to the car and get in the passenger side. The drive there is way longer than the ten minutes it should be. To my relief, my dad doesn’t try to talk to me. We pull up in the drive way and I get out.
“Be safe,” he calls, but I’m already unlocking the front door and slipping inside. I set my bags down and head to the kitchen.
Why aren’t I crying?
I get some comfort food and dig out my grandma’s laptop form underneath a pile of blankets on her bed. As soon as I login to Facebook, I regret having done so. Nita’s chat box pops up.
Nita: How are you feeling?
Me: Fine.
Nita: Liar!
Me: How do you know?
Nita: Your grandma.
As soon as she types these words, the phone rings. I know it isn’t my house, but I rush to get the phone anyway. It’s my grandma. Not the one whose house I’m in, but my grandma in Oregon. My dad’s mom.
“Hello?” I answer.
“Hey, Tootsie Pop,” she says through the phone. “I told Nita.”
“I know,” I tell her, glancing at the chat box.
Nita: You still there?
Me: Yeah, I’m talking to my grandma.
“I know it isn’t my business, but she loves you and you need her,” my grandma tells me.
“I know, Oma,” I tell her. “I would have told her too, we’re best friends.”
“Do you feel like talking?” She asks.
“Not really.”
“Okay, I love you, Tootsie Pop. Call if you need anything,” she tells me.
“Okay bye,” I say, I hear the other line click off.
Me: I’m going to go lay down.
Nita: I love you, Almah! God loves you, my mom loves you, your Oma loves you, and your parents love you! I’m always here!
Me: I love you too, Nita.
Nita: Night
Me: Night.
I shut the laptop and pad down the hall towards the guest room. Not bothering to shut the door, I take off my clothes and pull my nightgown on. Crawling under the covers, I reach for the phone. It rings four times and she doesn’t answer.
“Hey this is Ingrid, leave a message,” my aunt’s answering machine beeps.
“Ingrid, I’m and grandma’s house. I don’t know where you are. Call me.”
I turn off the phone.
I’m so numb, I can’t feel anything. I can’t cry. Am I stupid or something? I curl up and try to fall asleep, but after fifteen minutes I know there’s no way I can sleep. I flip on the TV and Degrassi is on. This episode is about a girl and her gay best friend. I smile and think about Bryce.
They kiss and fall asleep together, but nothing happens. He’s still gay. I wish Bryce wasn’t gay. I watch about five more episodes until sleep finally claims me. Goodnight, life.
#BF40BF ">--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey! Here's the second intallment to This Is Me! Please please comment!
Loves, ThisIsMe (Tim)
