"It"

Hello! Welcome to YWS.

This is very well written. It's also a bit odd, and at the end, pretty morbid. But let's see. I like that you wrote it in present tense, that's a good technique to make the reader feel like they're really there. And I like your use of fragments, and the overall tone and sort of conversational feel of the story. The ending is a little too morbid for me. And also, I don't like ellipses, and if it was my piece, I'd stick with a full stop at the end, just because I always feel like ellipses make things sound a bit uncertain. Apart from that, I found this very intriguing and it held my attention, so good job.

It was definitely an intriguing piece. I don't know if I liked the end, it was a bit crazy, but it wasn't in a disturbing sort of way, more of just in an insane sort of way XD
It was really surreal, and it has this whole far out dream feel to it, especially the part with the mirror. The beginning started out a bit differently than how the later parts went, but I don't think that's a bad thing... I like it when you talk about the different paths/ choices, it seems like you're talking about when you choose one thing how hard it is to get back on the right path, or at least that's my interpretation. I guess all your writing is pretty macabre, and I sort of like it... in a creepy sort of way. Anyways,
Keep on writing--- FMS.