Once Dead, Now Alive.

Once I was dead--
Now I'm Alive.
I once was Sad
I've been Changed.

I used to long
For the popular life.
Now I love whats made for me,
it's all I need.

It took some time,
but I got there.
Now I look back
And see what a fool I was.

I thank my friendship:
without that I would be dead.
But with it,
I'm still here today ready for whatever's thrown at me.

Hey, Taco.

Great poem, but you've got some rustiness still in there. It's a little... choppy.

OnceDeadNowAlive wrote:Once I was dead#FF0000 ">--
Now #FF0000 ">I'm Alive.
I once was Sad.
Now#FF0000 ">I've been amChanged.

I used to long
For the popular life.
Now #FF0000 ">I love whats made for me,
#FF0000 ">it's all #FF0000 ">I need.

It took some time,
but #FF0000 ">I got there.
Now #FF0000 ">I look back
And see what a fool #FF0000 ">I was.

And #FF0000 ">I thank my friendship:
because without that #FF0000 ">I would be dead.
But with it,
#FF0000 ">I'm still #FF0000 ">here today ready for #FF0000 ">whatever's thrown at me#FF0000 ">.

There's the raw changes to your poem:) ... Now. For my twist to it.
You know me, I love to have a metaphor to tell people how I feel about something. So instead of just tossing it at them and going, "here, this is what I think about my life," give them a reason to read it.

In the last stanza you mention getting stuff thrown at you. Expand on it. Take the idea and spin it into your whole poem.
"I'm that one batter that always strikes out.
The pitcher likes to throw me curveballs,
right in the strike zone.

Swing. Miss."

Kinda like that? Haha, I'll let you decide.

Hope I helped!

Love,
Bunny:)

But with it,
I'm still here today ready for whatever's thrown at me.

The last line is really long, while the line before it is really short. I suggest evening out the lengths, maybe moving the "I'm still here today" to the same line as "But with it".

Overall, this poem struck me as very vague. You mention a lot of things, but you don't describe or explain them to us. What is the "it" that is all you need? Where is "there"? Why is it such a great place? How was the narrator a fool? Basically this poem leaves a lot of questions unanswered.

I suggest expanding upon this poem and answering these questions. Right now, this poem is quite bland and uninteresting because it's so general and doesn't go into specifics.