Wish She Would've

[[This isn't really finished and I'm not, by nature, a lyricist or song-writer by any stretch. It's certainly not my forte. When I do dabble in it, it all revolves around my favorite genre: country music. Hence, my lyrics are geared toward that. Keep that in mind.]]

Her scent's still in the bedroom... Her mirror's still on the wall...
I ache to tell her good mornin'... But I can't say nothin' at all...
I want to know what she's doing... I wish that she was near...
I'm not really sure what happened...
Aw, but I know that she's not here...


chorus: I wish she would've told me...
I wish she'd said something along the way...
Cuz what I have realized all alone...
Is that she mighta had somethin' to say...
If I'd said, "Tell me how you feel, is there something I can do, do you wanna go for a drive - And do absolutely nothin' but ride down the back-roads and talk until the moon is high...?"
Oh, but I didn't do it. I didn't even try.
I was too busy lookin' out for myself to even see the signs..
And though, it's clear now, and now I see...
I wish - she would - have told me...


You'd think the kids would keep me going...
Aw, but it's hard to even smile...
'Cuz when I'm with 'em now... It just seems lonelier somehow...
After all, she gave them life...
I hope I'm closer tomorrow... to seeing where I went wrong...
Not that that would help us now... I guess I waited way too long...
But -

[chorus]

Hey Tale!

I didn't read your note at first and I was thinking, "Wow, these would be great lyrics, if they were in a country song!" And then I read your note and it made me happy.

Anyway, my main comment would be these two lines:

If I'd said, "Tell me how you feel, is there something I can do, do you wanna go for a drive - And do absolutely nothin' but ride down the back-roads and talk until the moon is high...?"

....they seem a little forced! Like, everything else sounds cool, but what a mouthful here! So I would see if I could condense it a bit.

Still! I liked it lots.

Hi Tale!

I must say, I really liked these lyrics! Seriously, they're way better than most of what's on the charts right now. They're catchy, have a nice rhythm, and I could almost hear the music that would go along with it.

I do agree with Snoink, though, that those two lines were a bit forced. To me it seemed like you squished all of that into one line to avoid making the chorus seem too long. I may be wrong, but that's what it seemed like. Maybe try having the chorus start at "If I'd said" and turn the four lines before it into a bridge.

Really great lyrics though, and if this is any indication, you definitely have a talent for writing songs!

Hey, thanks so much guys.
I really do agree with you about the forced lengthy line. I can't remember what made me ultimately decide to stick with it, but I can just hear Keith Urban or Brad Paisley's voice croon it with a little more swiftness than the rest of the lines, and that's sort of where I imagine volume and speed building up before it falls a bit again.
Still, I like tigress's suggestion of making the first four lines of my chorus a bridge and starting the chorus with the longer line.

Thanks again for the input.